Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there I'm Cassidy and I'm need of some advice please.
I have Autism which I do struggle with on a daily basis, don't we all? I mostly struggle with noise, going out, talking and things breaking my usual routine. Somehow I managed to get in a relationship and it's going ok. I don't think I'm an amazing girlfriend but he seems to like me so I guess that's nice.
But recently he's started talking about us having a baby. And I'm not really sure what to do. He tells me I'd be a great mum but I don't think I would. I have meltdowns a lot. And I can't stand babies, nothing personal I just don't like the constant crying and being sick :/ But lately he's getting really pushy and when we have intercourse he takes off protection even though I tell him not to. I don't think I want to get pregnant. There's a lot of factors here working against me. I think I'd be a terrible mum and I've also got a brain tumour which I haven't told anyone about yet. That's something else I need help with. I'm going to die and I don't know how to tell my mum, dad and sisters and brother. It's getting bigger all the time and sometimes I faint. I told my boyfriend the fainting is related to my low vitamin intake.
Not sure what to do about both things.
I'm concerned about the pressure that this person is putting you under. I don't know how long you have been together but it sounds like still a relatively new relationship? As Plinky said, removing the condom without your consent is legally considered to be rape. You could also catch STIs if he hasn't been screened before starting a sexual relationship with you.
As for your tumour, perhaps Macmillan can help you to communicate with your family about your prognosis. You don't say whether you are receiving any treatment to try to slow the growth of it and I know tumours can be unpredictable so you may not have been given an accurate timescale, but these are also factors to consider before conceiving.
Personally, I found having my children one of the hardest parts of my life for various reasons, and I'm not an amazing parent now but I am more than good enough. I'm not passionate about being a mum like some people are and I do struggle with the demands they place on me. I would advise anyone to not make such a decision lightly, and I'm glad you don't seem to be doing that although I'm concerned this person may be forcing you into a situation where that choice is removed. If he continues to behave in this way, please contact someone for advice. I'd start with your GP/nurse if you don't feel a rape centre is right for you.