Published on 12, July, 2020
I am really struggling with anxiety at the moment and as a result am currently off sick from work. It will be three months this month that I've been off and to be honest I don't know how I'll be able to return. I'm just so burnt out with the camouflaging and masking that I've done over many years (not realising that I am autistic) and it's had such a detrimental affect on my self esteem. I'm now thinking I'll never be able to work unless I can find a job where I am alone.
Thank you so much for your reply. I have thought about trying to get a job working from home because I think that will be better for me - I might have a try to look for one.
To be honest I've had so many different jobs over the years and the burnout always comes - I just hate the politics of working with others - they say things they don't mean and they can be so cruel. This particular job is in a school and whilst I love children, I'm finding the rest of school life very difficult. I've asked for reduced hours but they always say they can't accommodate that and to be honest, the stage I'm at now, I don't think reduced hours is the answer. Luckily my husband is now being a little more supportive (before he thought this was all about choice but now understands a little) and he says I should try to find an alternative job. I just don't know what to do and it's getting me down so much.
Thank you so much for your reply. It's so difficult isn't it - I'm actually suffering with anxiety symptoms right now just thinking about work. I think I'm going to have to quit and find an alternative but the whole interview process scares me too. I just don't know what to do for the best
How were you managing before you burnt out?
Is it possible to adjust your role somehow so you don't burn out. Can your OH or HR departments help.
I've hit that a time or two. It was then that I knew I needed a change; a work/life restructure to manage the constant exhaustion. Back then, of course I didn't know what I was experiencing was 'burn out'. These days my job has to fit with my energy accounting. Lockdown has been brilliant in that regard; no commute with its sensory bombardments and social interaction reduced to Teams meetings. But of course not everyone is lucky enough to be able to work at home.
I was in the same boat, this time last year, with a Disability Employability Programme; then finding a job at the Randox Covid Lab in Antrim. (Northern Ireland) I only lasted three hours before I resigned; not only did I lose breath with the mask, but it took me far too long to degown/regown.
This is how one's repaid, whenever they suit up and show up. The Job Market isn't Autism-Friendly. That's the sad reality of it.