Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone. I'm 44 years old and have never sought a diagnosis for ASD although it has been suggested to me at various point throughout my life (including by my older sister who has a son with Aspergers). I have what I describe as an "obsessive personality" - when I think of something I can't let it go until I do it or some other "shiny" thing comes along (and I definitely obsess). I don't really understand other people's emotions and have always known I was "different". I don't have friends but that's never bothered me, I'd rather be alone most of the time. It was only in recent years that I realised that I never make eye contact with people and instead watch their mouth when talking to them. I've been described as "honest to the point of tactlessness" and social situations make me very very uncomfortable.
I could keep going but that's not why I am posting. I've always just labelled myself as a "geek" and see it as a positive and I wanted to know, are there benefits to seeking a formal diagnosis at my age?
The negative side of it has always worried me - what if people look at me differently either at home or at work? It's always steered me away from finding out for sure.
Hi,
I read what you wrote and it’s me! And much more too. My family never gave up helping me to get a diagnosis, all my life I have felt I talk a different language and I don’t feel heard or understood. It’s taken a long time to get my diagnosis, am pleased to say I have it now (nov 22 2021!) I turned 50 this year and for me it’s life changing just knowing that people understand me for the first time in my life. After the assessment when I was told I sobbed my heart out as I just couldn’t believe they saw the real me. The assessors could not believe how I have not been diagnosed years ago as they said it’s very clear without a shadow of a doubt I am autistic. And yes people look at me differently, I wear ear defenders outside my house as noise affects me a lot, I know I am different I am now learning to come to terms with that. I constantly worry what people think of me, and if I am daily doing the right thing… I am me and now I know why I do things I do 100% it’s because I am autistic and this is a huge breakthrough knowing this. I guess knowing brings different things for different people. Before knowing I felt in limbo as I knew I was different. Do what’s right for you.