Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone. I'm 44 years old and have never sought a diagnosis for ASD although it has been suggested to me at various point throughout my life (including by my older sister who has a son with Aspergers). I have what I describe as an "obsessive personality" - when I think of something I can't let it go until I do it or some other "shiny" thing comes along (and I definitely obsess). I don't really understand other people's emotions and have always known I was "different". I don't have friends but that's never bothered me, I'd rather be alone most of the time. It was only in recent years that I realised that I never make eye contact with people and instead watch their mouth when talking to them. I've been described as "honest to the point of tactlessness" and social situations make me very very uncomfortable.
I could keep going but that's not why I am posting. I've always just labelled myself as a "geek" and see it as a positive and I wanted to know, are there benefits to seeking a formal diagnosis at my age?
The negative side of it has always worried me - what if people look at me differently either at home or at work? It's always steered me away from finding out for sure.
I am 32 and was diagnosed this year. The benefits of diagnosis for me, and only me, is the confirmation that I'm not just weird, awkward, stubborn, or lazy. Or any other negative word that could describe some of the traits of autism.
The benefits of my diagnosis for other people are a bit less apparent to me. Employers are forced to support me as a disabled staff member but this has so far resulted in sometimes feeling patronised or disregarded in terms of capability.
My family understand me better now but my husband still gets annoyed at me, particularly my insistence on telling him the rules about things: mainly telling him the highway code in the car.
One positive is that you can get a diagnosis for your own knowledge but you don't actually have to share it with anyone if you don't want to. My assessor actually made a point of telling me this after she gave me my diagnosis. She said it is a personal decision.