Published on 12, July, 2020
He asked if I was annoyed at him this morning and I said no, explained it was an external situation that was annoying me. He repeated the questioning so many times to the point I asked him frustratedly to trust that I was telling him the truth. He said he should just go kill himself and slammed a door. When told this wasn’t okay he brought it back to autism.
The other day I went out with my friends for Halloween to a club event. I told him before that I didn’t really want to go and would probably be back early. I understand I was at fault because he took this literally. He blew up my phone on every social media asking why I wasn’t replying and he accused me of not being where I said I was. When I proved I was he said he never said it. He’s often saying he never said things that he did.
We all went home after that. When I got home he said that I was a hypocrite because I kicked him out when he went out with his friends and came back late - which is a lie. He said he was leaving at like 3am because he “refused to be spoken to like that” - when I was just disputing outright lies. I offered him the sofa multiple times and he refused, before eventually coming to my front door and shouting for hours. He says this was an autistic freak out, and that he never made stuff up but that it was due to his autism. I’m so tired of everything being to do with his autism. I feel like I’m a constant carer for his emotional well-being.
He also doesn’t work due to stress related seizures, spends all of his money on weed to reduce the seizures (he’s had one in 3 months b it that could be because he smokes an ounce in a few days), and I’m now supporting us. He’s moved in with me and doesn’t contribute, I mean he’ll pay for the odd thing but then I end up having to buy his weed because he doesn’t have enough. He would end up homeless if anything were to go wrong here. I don’t know what to do. Please help.
EDIT:
I have decided to remove my original comment.
I am not trying to hide anything and have copied the comment if anyone is interested. The comment outlined details of my own history and behaviour, which I believed might help in this discussion. I might post it as a separate thread, independent of this discussion.
Having read more comments, and discussed things with other users, I have come to the conclusion that the comment wasn't useful or helpful for this discussion.
I misinterpreted the purpose and direction of this thread.
And I think the content of my comment is more of a distraction, so I have decided to remove it.
I hope removal of my comment helps this discussion move forward in a productive way.
I will leave my other comments intact.
END EDIT
I've only been with him for 3 months, and I've spent the entire time listening to his stuff from the other side. In these months he moved in immediately, bought me loads of gifts and said he loved me within the week. I've went out with my friends twice, and he's accused me of things each time, and then brought up previous arguements that he genuinely made up. He shouted through my door for hours, despite how I begged him not to wake up the neighbours. The only time I've met his friend, he said that he didn't like how his friend was around me and how he noticed how different he was, and I never saw his friend again.
Im not someone who usually puts up with this ***. Its Certainly not my task to help him.
This is really toxic behaviour from him. I work with people who have been subjected to violence and if this is the behaviour 3 months in, it is only likely to get worse.
I'd advise you to leave him now whilst you aren't too invested. If you need support to do this you can get help from Women's Aid and there may be other local organisations to you too. His housing situation isn't your issue - was he homeless when you met him? How has he ended up living with you so quickly?