Published on 12, July, 2020
He asked if I was annoyed at him this morning and I said no, explained it was an external situation that was annoying me. He repeated the questioning so many times to the point I asked him frustratedly to trust that I was telling him the truth. He said he should just go kill himself and slammed a door. When told this wasn’t okay he brought it back to autism.
The other day I went out with my friends for Halloween to a club event. I told him before that I didn’t really want to go and would probably be back early. I understand I was at fault because he took this literally. He blew up my phone on every social media asking why I wasn’t replying and he accused me of not being where I said I was. When I proved I was he said he never said it. He’s often saying he never said things that he did.
We all went home after that. When I got home he said that I was a hypocrite because I kicked him out when he went out with his friends and came back late - which is a lie. He said he was leaving at like 3am because he “refused to be spoken to like that” - when I was just disputing outright lies. I offered him the sofa multiple times and he refused, before eventually coming to my front door and shouting for hours. He says this was an autistic freak out, and that he never made stuff up but that it was due to his autism. I’m so tired of everything being to do with his autism. I feel like I’m a constant carer for his emotional well-being.
He also doesn’t work due to stress related seizures, spends all of his money on weed to reduce the seizures (he’s had one in 3 months b it that could be because he smokes an ounce in a few days), and I’m now supporting us. He’s moved in with me and doesn’t contribute, I mean he’ll pay for the odd thing but then I end up having to buy his weed because he doesn’t have enough. He would end up homeless if anything were to go wrong here. I don’t know what to do. Please help.
As an addition to my other comment, I noticed the age difference.
Not that this is an 'issue', but on top of other things, it might be that he is using it as a power play, He might have the delusion that being older makes him 'wiser', more experienced, or provides him with some dominant attribute.
Just another thing that might be complicating the situation.
The only important factor here is that this man is an abuser. He isn't going to change in the time frame that is going to make staying in this relationship worthwhile.
Run for the hills. At 22 you should be enjoying life, not stuck with some loser who has problems with his fragile ego.
Agree with this, although the age difference isn't huge, there are A LOT of generational differences between a 30 year old and a 22 year old.
Might just not be a very good dynamic coupled with whatever issues he has.