Published on 12, July, 2020
I was never diagnosed growing up and finally been diagnosed well into adulthood.
I have had a very traumatic year and in the process of being treated for that, I was diagnosed with autism. I was told by the doctor that it is not uncommon for women to be diagnosed later in life.
I have a very hard time making friends. People just look through me and I am often mocked and ridiculed for things I say and often I cannot work out what I said that was wrong.
Also, sometimes I say things that I believe to be inoffensive and harmless but people get offended. I don't know what to do about this? I absolutely hate conflict and do not want to hurt or offend anyone but this is hard when I cannot figure out what I said or did wrong.
Yeah I have had that happen too, which is why I stopped communicating with my friends. I hate conflict as well, so I do not enjoy the drama that can happen from having friends, as I don't think that all this conflict is what friendship is all about.
I understand there can always be some level of conflict between people, but what's important is the resolution. If that person rather just stay angry and offended and not listen to a word you have to say, and they don't try to make any attempts to repair the friendship to just discuss matters with you, then you don't have to be around them, and you can try to find other people who will listen to you, and consider the things you have to say.
I've tried to clear up misunderstandings with friends and put my best foot forward and try to make amends, but when they are angry it does not matter because they just try to demonize me no matter what I try to say or do, and the other friends do nothing but watch instead of trying to keep the peace. The offended friend sees me as if I'm trying to get myself out of trouble and they want to take it out on me, but I'm trying to think of our entire friendship as a whole, and if I like this kind of treatment from them, because if it happens now, it will likely happen again and again in the future. When I step back and see the overall picture, I wonder if this is what I really want.
I have trouble maintaining friendships, and I think it's like that in relationships too, that if there's too much disagreements without resolutions, it can fall apart.
Now I try to stay away from people who just get offended by something I unintentionally do, and as much as they don't understand me, I don't understand them in return, and that's something that can be mutually agreed upon, but there's a large enough of a population (and the internet) to find forums that will have people who would understand you.
People who get offended are so annoying, and they are increasing in number these days. I was brought up by a continually offended mother. I've no idea what I did but she was always huffing and storming out of the room and/or getting 'revenge' on me for something I'd done. Exhausting.