Do you ever think it's odd that diagnosis is essentially just us being classified, usually by neurotypical people?

Yes, I do have a problem with it myself.  The whole diagnostic process involved me putting myself into the hands of "experts" with the power to evaluate core aspects of my personality based on a handful of criteria from the DSM, which in any case don't represent anything like the whole picture of any neurodivergent person!  It also involved extremely long waits, plus a whole load of anxiety linked to that and also to the very real sense that I was basically asking someone to judge me (having already received a whole rake of negative judgements from others throughout my life)!

I'd really have preferred not to have to go through this, not to have my personality traits listed in their vast compendium of mental disorders, not to give away my power to people with so very little understanding of neurodiversity that now, 3 years later, it actually shocks me.  And the more I learn, the more shocked I am. 

Ideally I should have been identified as autistic much earlier on in life, probably in primary school, with adjustments made for my learning style and different ways of socialising but, in the late 60s/early 70s, the knowledge and awareness just wasn't there.  Failing that, I'd prefer to self identify - after all, people know when they're gay and I always, always knew i was different.  I just didn't have the words for it.  Again, the information just wasn't out there.  

But on the whole I'd say I feel sick of handing over my personal power to so-called experts who then proceed to make me feel somehow "less than" and  refer me to agencies that still have a stereotypical view of autism (quite obviously geared towards young boys, probably with learning diabilities as well) and that can't possibly help me as an older woman with intergenerational issues that all cluster around never having known that my family is strongly neurodivergent and never haing received any appropriate support or information.  They actually have little or no relevent expertise and, were it not for the perceived need for an "expert", I never would have gone down that route! 

I have major regrets!  I also feel somehow primed for this experience in that, again throughout my life, I learnt that I was somehow in the wrong and needed to either change or mask to fit in or not be subjected to endless criticism.  And this meant I generally looked to others to see how things should be done, never trusted myself and developed an exaggerated external locus of evaluation, never thinking to trust my own internal voice and experience.  This has been damaging and I still need to develop my internal locus of evaluation, my own value system and instincts, many of which were right all along.  But no.  I went and deferred to the "experts" in one last act of desperation!  I really resent all of this! 

I have never had any investment in the ND vs NT divide.

My whole life, I wasn't autistic, until I was diagnosed. Up until that point, I thought a certain way, and I met very few people who thought about things the way I did. It was me vs everybody else. ND vs NT didn't exist for me until I exposed myself to the wonderful world of autism politics.

I wanted to understand how I function so that I can interact with people better and be easier on myself, not so I can get angry about our differences. I've spent a lifetime doing that.

Labels and names etc, by definition, categorise things. If we want a label, we become categorised. But we need categorisation so it is easier to research and understand things. Otherwise we have chaos.

The difference is in the intention. If we choose to seek diagnosis, does it really matter who does it if the result is accurate? Although the assessment will be largely subjective anyway.

Is it necessary for a person to be autistic to be able to see the signs of autism? I don't think so.

Of course, they won't understand on an experiential level, but that doesn't mean they can't help us.

Does a world class athletics coach need to be a world class athlete themselves? Of course not. They need to be able to assess the data in front of them and use that to bring out the skills of the athlete.

The point of diagnosis is understanding, then we can move forward. I think too many people are dwelling on the past, too much guilt, too many grudges. The past can't be changed, people often can't be changed.

But if we act like 'them', we become like 'them'.

This is obvious to me but it seems like a common theme in many ND forums.

I was diagnosed in my 60s, but abroad, and I found it very inaccurate. The purpose of all diagnosis is to convince the diagnostician, and institutional others, that we fall under that rubric. It doesn't much matter to them if that rubric is faulty, infantilizing or damaging to us. The goal is to put us in or out of the box.
I stumbled across this blog entry by Aspie Blogger Troy Camplin (troycamplin.medium.com/a-pathological-look-at-neurotypical-behavior-ee77d41e7e81) where he characterises neurotypicals using the same pathological language they use on us. It is both very satisfying, for us, and disturbing.

I was diagnosed in my 60s, but abroad, and I found it very inaccurate. The purpose of all diagnosis is to convince the diagnostician, and institutional others, that we fall under that rubric. It doesn't much matter to them if that rubric is faulty, infantilizing or damaging to us. The goal is to put us in or out of the box.
I stumbled across this blog entry by Aspie Blogger Troy Camplin (troycamplin.medium.com/a-pathological-look-at-neurotypical-behavior-ee77d41e7e81) where he characterises neurotypicals using the same pathological language they use on us. It is both very satisfying, for us, and disturbing.

I do agree with what you're saying. It's odd that all these neurotypicals with their messed up societies, crime, corruption and so on label us as defective.

However, the truth of the matter is, of course, we have little choice but to get diagnosed because to survive in their world in which we often get fired from jobs or can't get employed, we need a diagnosis so we can claim benefits and have access to the support we need.

Perhaps I should begin to diagnose neurotypicals ...

The people who often have a problem with what those of us Autistic have to say are "ableists" and instead of caring about the autistic person's well being, they're more concerned about having the relationship they expected. So if we tell them a son or daughter may be uncomfortable with hugs because of their sense of touch, ableist parents would have a go at us because the truth we share doesn't fit their expectations. 

The reason I don't see Autism as problematic as others is because just about everything labelled "autism trait" is done by non-autistic people as well, most so called traits when treat separately are actually ordinary human behaviours.  

On some YouTube videos involving ABA I see parents torturing their children, when I spell out how traumatizing and distressing it can be to bombard an autistic person oversensitive to light and sound with bright lights and loud noises, they get so angry with me when I point out it's just plain insensitive and abusive to force someone into such distressing situations that can be avoided.

Matron!  

i dont think i could mime brushing my teeth without thinking it looks like some kind of sucking on something else type of act lol

These may seem like academic disputes. Ultimately, many people with conditions like autism find that the term neurodiversity (and its contrast, neurotypical) is a useful and positive way of self-defining their identity and their community. There's certainly a need to reduce the stigm.

TelltheBell

I totally agree that being 'diagnosed as having a disorder' by people that do not share your neurotype is beyond ridiculous.

I remember being in a *massive crisis* in my late teens and being asked by CAMHS if I got upset if my parents re-arranged the household furniture. I felt so incredulous that thought there was no way that these people could possibly help me... (I kind of get the point of the question now but ... )

(I would love to give you a rant about privilege and what it means to me but it's slightly of topic.)

I totally agree. Maybe we should start classifying them. Well actually I do classify them in my own mind.

No, this is really interesting to hear, thank you. I think because I was only 15 and I already had mental health issues and was very insecure, I was maybe less able to approach it with an open mind than adults who have chosen to pursue diagnosis so they can understand themselves better are. I didn't feel in control, the whole thing was very difficult and overwhelming for me and it didn't help with my self esteem at all. I'm glad your assessor was at least experienced. I'm not saying I'm necessarily against the way autism is assessed, I'm not saying that at all, and I know a lot of people who have been through diagnosis don't see it as as big a deal as I did, it's just a bit strange when you think about it, or at least it is to me when I think about it. Absolutely, it would be fascinating to know how an NT person would react and answer in an ADOS. I really hope your diagnosis has helped you to be kinder to yourself as you hoped it would.

I have always wanted to know,  since my assessment earlier this year, how a "neurotypical person" would fare in an ADOS assessment. I think it's more about how the situations are dealt with and how the tasks are carried out but...it did get me wondering. Sorry this doesn't really answer to your post.

I put myself forward for assessment and I didn't really mind the tasks they had me do. Yes it was a bit "infantilising" but I approached it with an open mind. If that's what is used as a standard tool it must be useful. I don't know if my assessor was on the spectrum or not, but they were very experienced and I trusted their judgement.  Fir me it was about getting this information so I coukd be kinder to myself rather than any classification.