Narcissism Vs Autism

What?! I’m so sorry. That’s just mean.

Yes especially after birthday parties the kids would tell me their Mums said that about me. Which is pretty effed up if you think about it really

Ugh. I got that too. All the accusations from misrepresentation (others perceptions and interpretations based on their motives)… 

I think this is a very normal experience for most sadly. It makes me want to collect up everyone who’s experienced it and give them imaginary hugs. 

@JustMe - I agree with all your points except in this thread I’m trying to use the clinical definition. And according to what I’ve researched, Narcissists cannot possibly start with a ND brain as it’s under a type perverting or warping of perception. It’s very formatted to NT thinking just gone amuck a bit. But I think it’s even more important autists are not subjected to this sort of predatory behaviour and confused with them. While there may be a way of helping them, they won’t ever find it in a community that they cannot communicate with. 

there is a massive difference between the analytical force many autistic individuals experience creating a desire to understand and simply lacking discipline and regard/respect for others. 

I had been accused of being a snob, aloof when I was younger. Not recently. I didn't think I was better than anyone else, had very low self esteem, it was just my masking. Trying to look intelligent, look like I understood everything while being in complete state of confusion about everything and everybody.

I now know, in RL, an awful lot of autistic people, and I've yet to meet one that thinks they're better, or smarter, then other people (though I'm sure there are some dotted about.  They're just not the norm). They often *are* smarter than 95% of the room, but they don't have that air about them. I think there are narcissists in all realms of life, and I don't think there are any more narcissists in the autistic community, percentage-wise, then in the ND world. I do think a lot depends on one's perspective. If you enter a room expecting to be hated, spoken down to, or otherwise generally disrespected, then whether that actually happens or not, you'll think it has. It's a victim mentality. As an aside, before I developed a chronic illness, I was very fit, and trained for years as a martial artists, I had my black belt and some dan grades (I'm not going to say how many). I never once felt that I was hated, disliked or anything else, if I mentioned what I did to anyone. I didn't have the feeling that I was a victim and that people were going to have a go at me, so they didn't. I received a little respect sometimes, but usually people didn't bother one way or the other, which is as it should be, because it's not a big deal. I do wonder how, when autists are so bad at gauging other people's feelings and reactions, that one can know how a room feels as a whole when they make an announcement. I knew because people continued to be friendly, no one said anything derogatory. But maybe there's some secret underground code that only NTs can recognise so it went right over my head. Who knows? Lol! 

ehhhhh i might be too dumb to work that out tbh lol

so you buy a cheap place you can find and get a mortgage on it and rent it out or something? so you get money back that you paid for it from the mortgage then the rental income pays off the monthyl repayments or something so its basically free asset maybe?

hmmm i always doubt i can get any type of loan mortgage thing anyway as i have no job and never done any credit thing so my credit is probably average, oh wait i pay phone contracts so that will boost it i guess. just need a job then for a mortgage.

But that's not how it works - it's actually cheaper to buy if you can get a low enough interest rate.

I know someone who bought the cheapest thing possible to rent out - the mortgage was interest only - they paid well below rental price each month while the property increases in value-  while they live at home.     

The concept is that the parents may as well help them on the housing market by charging no rent - after all, when they die, it all goes to him anyway - so it's a tax-efficient way of shifting assets without the tax man stealing it..

Eventually, when he earns a higher salary, he can remortgage the first and buy another.

It's all fake money anyway.

oof, 1 million is something that a lifetime worth of work wont even cover, considering average wage is 12k or 14k per year and no one ever pays more than the bare minimum for anything, thats like 100 years of work and absolutely no spending at all in order to just get a roof over your head lol this needs to change, society cannot be like this. its gotta give at some point and completely collapse or end in chaos or rebelion.

Very few people are in their ideal location-  around here, a Victorian 2-bed terrace is over £1/2M so it's impossible to get started -  but it's all about cutting one's cloth.

probs would again require relocation lol
god knows why my ancestors picked wigan, probably because its a mining town, but feck all here lol even wales in the middle of nowhere has more opportunities than this. not to mention cheaper houses that you can actually possibly afford after 10 years of work rather than needing 100 years.

Caelus said:

something like a hiking camping tour guide

But you can easily make yourself the top applicant by picking up easy certificates like advanced first aid - if you think about what could go wrong, the more you can deal with problems and emergencies, the more you can pull the company out of the court case. 

There must be a local scout group that you can help out with - it's experience  and selflessness that catches people's eye.

did think of that, but due to where i live anything like that would require a relocation.
something like a hiking camping tour guide would be cool lol a job thats pretty much just hiking and wild camping in nice places aha these type of privileged jobs though are rare and everyone fights for them. not very lucky on getting picked for anything, which makes me feel locked out of any job really, the guy thats always looked over or picked last is the guy that will never get job in this world in which 1000 people are going for each job.

Have you considered looking for a land management type of job?

I have a friend who lives almost like a hermit on the Duke of something's land - he's on benefits because of PTSD and a breakdown - but he does gentle work there to improve the land and generally tidy the grounds.    He loves it.

yeah, if i win the lottery and buy a private woodland 1000 miles from civilisation and the hordes of idiot human population and have a nice cabin to live in there. but never gonna happen, plus if it did happen its not that easy for civilisation follows you as ted kazynsky tried and found out himself, housing developers would just destroy everything around your land and make cities all around you. cant get any peace in this greedy world.

not sure about thought, i generally think afterward, such as the other topic that got locked in which i thought for the entire night and day and came up with a rebuff to the whole ethics argument and pointed out the flaw in it based on thought and research lol ...when i think, i think long and hard, and i dont stop, it isnt there and then snap thought, it is long deep thought, and when some can drop a convo and forget i can be thinking on it for days and all the ways around it and aspects of it. ofcourse it probably helps if the topic is interesting or if i understand the other side clearly enough lol

I have a command of my local dialect. "Mary's a right mardy-bum, she were skrikin' int' ginnel". Translated, this means, Mary is very petulant, she was crying in the alleyway. There can be a big divide between local speech forms and 'standard English' or 'received pronunciation' in the UK.

I'm in the North as well. And I do know an excellent Aesthetics Lecturer from Yorkshire!

Of course now I'm aware you don't really take the time to thoughtfully engage, and you don't really care, it helps! I don't always have time (time being a resource and one we can never earn back) and some times I take time out of my work-day or down time for humans who actually would like help. This means I can structure my time accordingly :) 

Yes, things can be interpreted in a myriad of ways. If one can be bothered to evaluate a little further, the others 'interpretation' of a thing is - for the most part - closely linked to their own motives and intent. So I've found. 

I mean my daughters were teased for not having a specifically local accent - accents in Britain change every 25 miles or so - having good vocabularies and thus  being perceived as 'talking posh'.

Unfortunately, all Anglophone countries seem to have an anti-intellectual cultural bias, unlike France or Germany, where intellect is respected and has social caché.

I agree - but I make sure I don't put myself in that position to need to be *that* stressed all the time - there are nicer places to be where you can 'stand down' and just enjoy living in the moment.     There's a lot of inner peace to be found in lower stress environments.        Save the big response for when it's really needed.

It can be seen clearly in dogs - the ability to relax and not need to be the protector changes them back into puppies.

Are you able to find that peace?

aye, if any bystander even sees you let any challenge slide or go uncontested then they too will think they are above you and then downtalk you and have a go next.

and even just being a side sitter and none participant people will always seek to have a go anyway even if your just chill and not wanting to participate in any of their societal nonsense. alot of times i let things slide and it always made things worse, if i could turn back the time i would have hit people more often lol and if i did i can damn well bet alot of problems would have easily gone away if i did. pacifism is a open invitation for every social loser to pick on you as their own personal step ladder on the social hierarchy.