Is Autism 'a man's world'?

I wouldn't say it's a man's world. More like a world governed by social rules and expectations, where men have to have "a", "b" and "c" qualities and women have to have "x", "y" and "z" qualities. As a girl in my childhood, I used to match the DSM description of autism much better than I do now. After years of criticism, bullying, gaslighting and so on I'm learned to "create" a new Anna for the world outside my house. It's tiring and gets so hard to do sometimes, but I can't see any other way to function "out there", even though I so wish there was. Since covid hit and I've been forced to work from home, it's soooo much easier and most days there's no blind rage and no meltdown, no clenching my teath until I get a horrible headache and swollen gums from the stress. But I am painfully aware how easily this precarious equilibrium can go to shhhhh. I now cry instead of throwing punches and curse instead of smashing things. I've learned a bunch of "lines" I recycle and reuse everytime an uncomfortable situation arises. I've started reading books written by women on the spectrum and can recognise sometimes all, sometimes most of the things I've been through. Most of our problems, as women on the spectrum, start from the fact that we can't adapt to or even accept rules we can find no logic use for (such as social constructs and rules).

"When I get emotional, they don't seem to understand - I've been accused of 'emotionally exploding', for example, simply for expressing that I felt uncomfortable with a conversation."

Male opinion incoming!!!  Be prepared for bluntness!!  Ok so it's difficult to judge this out of context, or I may have just misunderstood, but you make it sound like you've tried to exercise emotional privilege to shut down a conversation for whatever reason.  So pretty much people are going to discuss these topics when you're not around and the topic of discussion is now lacking whatever value your input might have had.  And now you feel left out because people feel like they need to be careful what they say around you.  Is this because you are female?  Preposterous.  Not even a little bit.  You seem to be suggesting women somehow aren't able to participate in 'uncomfortable' discourse and hold their own.  You probably just need to toughen up a little.

Due to masking, the statistics of autism being primarily a male thing are skewed.  Women are better at hiding their autistic traits, and this is something that is only now being researched.  I actually did my final project for social sciences in college on masking in autistic females.  It's a very interesting topic.  

aye but its usually done behind their backs in a back stabby way from what i gather. like how they all treat each other kind and lving to their faces and talk and get along, but then when they leave they immediately beging gossiping and slandering each other behind their backs. they never hear about it aside from when the person gossiped to spreads it to another person and it eventually makes its way back around to the subject of the gossip and then causes a fall out, which generally ends and they make friends as if nothing happened and talk again while again gossiping behind one anothers back and repeating the same thing over again and again.

where as with men we just openly say *** to each others faces and cut the kind face crap part out.

Caelus said:

the mans world is different and more uncaring to the womans world.

Women can be horrendous towards each other

doesnt all great thinkers have strange ideas? .... one wouldnt be a deep thinker at all if ones ideas were not strange.... if your ideas were not strange they would be cookie cutter and same as everyone elses. not only that my ideas are rather fluid rather than set which makes it hard for people to understand me or even keep up. but then again i suppose you also find it strange that a persons ideas can change based on information they receive for youd be the type to be a brick wall i guess and closed to reasoning or thought or acceptance that some other info is more valid than the one you previously had in your head. of which is why you cant understand even my stance that seems to be one of conceding ground before hand by my saying my ideas are that which have little outside life experience which puts me on a fluid stance of thought and conversation of which you dont even seem to understand is advantageous in fluidity and thought. i am the think tank, where as you are more the saved and locked hardrive database that cannot be tampered with.

and yet again you still havent really said why anything i have said is flawed.... it is basic pshycology and how the mind works.... but perhaps if your female you wont understand the mind of a man and this is indeed mainly about the psychology of a mans mind and our social position that otherwise doesnt allow for any displays of emotion at all, of which if a man is to display emotion generally theyd be ripped apart by society, of which is contrary to a woman i guess in which a woman is protected in society and thus any display of emotion gets them more care and attention. infact when i think on it, everytime i have ever shown any signs that i even may apear to be crying, i have always been mocked for it personally... even when i wasnt crying.... even when you get slightly wet eyes due to the winter wind outside that looks like your eyes are teary i got mocked for that one time and laughed at by some prat who claimed i was crying hen i wasnt. the mans world is different and more uncaring to the womans world.

Yet more strange ideas with no link to the real world. As you've admitted, you have no idea, so calling people "fake" is simply insulting, because you've nothing better to aim at them. 

And you're not seriously calling yourself a great thinker or philosopher, are you!?? As I said, very strange ideas. 

I'll leave you with your delusions of grandeur and will remove notifications for this thread. It's become too ridiculous.

(I can see why you have at least one fan here, you both have the same high opinions of yourselves! Lol!). 

Alison ,,,

   just to let you know u are most welcome in this forum :)

Marcus Aurelis rules ok

Males tend to mentor each other. They can compete for work, but don't compete socially like Females do. Women will ghost or excommunicate other women, younger females will throw their elders under a bus for a male. Here is one complication: Exclusion and Inclusion.  Males don't typically play this game. Women need to be taught how to fight for each other. One way to view this in society is with a reality show like the Bachelor (which I personally detest). Whereas, I find the Bachelorette normal behaviour. The other is a type of misogynistic-based Competition which I find gross. 

Females can receive input from society constantly telling them how to behave to be 'attractive'. In the Stone Age of 1950, males would come home from their hard days work and just want something cuddly and soft to make them "happy". A woman who doesn't need to worry about money, who can afford to make her surroundings as aesthetic as she likes, who can buy the same outfits to suit her male partners fantasy life, who can delete 'negative' friends and hire young strapping males to clean her pool is set up to be this depiction of 'attraction'. 

If you didn't start with wealth or a wise, healthy glorious matriarch guiding skilfully guiding your upbringing, and you also lack the social receptors to be encoded with how to engage in the fantasy games NTs suffer through, chances are you'll feel isolated and frustrated. It is still a bit of a man's world, and to sift through all the b.s. that goes with that (women competing for men is created by males to suit their egos), takes nothing short of a LOAD of psychological work.

I've often referred individuals of all sexes to The Artists Way as a start.

One also needs to begin to excavate everything they think they've been taught, then go to the source and discover what the rules actually are. For instance, the Dao of Pooh is complete dribble. In-depth with ancient religions can teach anyone that it is very easy to assert ones ego into any teaching. What else can I get from it. People appear to desire to be fawned.

This silly notion of Emotion Vs. Logic is also nonsense. Logic is the formula all humans utilise to conclude a summary, the consequence of is a resulting emotion. This formula of Logic can be disciplined. Our Psyche will use How we Perceive a thing to base a logical formula from. 2 things are important here: What are my perceptions of elements, humans, life, etc. in the world around me and is there something I can't see.

The other is that Emotions can be made better or worse, more or less intense let's say, by dietary factors, lifestyle and nutrition. Lights affect hormones, affecting our circadian rhythm, affecting our emotions. A lack of vitamins or a tumour even can affect the penal gland or the thyroid affecting serotonin, dopamine, or norepinephrine, which affect our state of being. Biologically, women need more iron, B12 and other vitamins/minerals than men. 

What you are experiencing is real. Learning to invest in friendships is not always innate. Learning to be responsible with and toward one-2 good friends is something worth hunting down. Finding an older, wiser woman as a mentor is not typical in society and well worth the find! 

or im just a normal honest person who had enough time to think on actions and why we are the way we are naturally. ofcourse most of my findings may not be too real worldy as i dont have much of a life, so most of them based on school age kids.... do you think a school boy in high school wants to be seen breaking down crying in school? what do you think that would do to his reputation? it would cause more bullying and mockery yes? 

now it may not be as applicable outside in the real world, because adults then perhaps learn to use fake crying to get their way at the stage of adult and dont care no longer for their image or reputation and crying thus gets them sympathy votes and anything they want and thus as a adult perhaps it is better to break down crying because you then instead get love and effection and whatever you wanted on a silver plate. but yeah for those that never truly got on in life their mind would still be like mine.... or perhaps for any man that has any form of pride or dignity too they wouldnt want to be seen breaking down crying. but then again you can say its outdated as people have taken and misappropriated pride to be meaningless now and so theres now no meaning behind the word pride because those who actually have shame in who they are have overly used it in false manner and thus killed the meaning. but generally its a physcological thing and the way the mind works can never be outdated. a crying man will always be seen as lesser by society, both now, in the past, and even in the future. another word for that would be pathetic, when you see something crying, thats pathetic, by the very definition.

also stoicism is kinda coming back, with how bad and depressing the world is getting, stoic ideas are coming back full force, and that is probably one part of this old fashioned mindset, all mindsets are old fashioned, the human mind has worked the same way since the dawn of humanity and only great thinkers and philosophers ever put names and ideas to these things.

Caelus said:

as showing any emotion to a man is weak and soft, unless its anger, thats totally ok and cool so long as it doesnt skew your logic and bork your argument then its uncool. emotionally males have to appear to be more stoic. but we do feel lotta emotion and do flip and throw things and go out of control, just we do that unseen out of sight from others. alpha wolf that shows weakness of any kind will be ripped to shreds by the betas who all want to get ahead of him and be the new alpha

No, strange and outdated thus. Amongst other things, as all your posts indicate. You're living in the 1950's.

Honestly I am starting to get annoyed with the gender politics, especially around gendered specific autism. Its been found that women don't have a more feminine profile of autism and what was believed to be female specific autism is just another presentation that can occur in both men and women but happens to be more appear in more women. 

I understand where your coming from too but I am male and have similar issues to what you have written. Their is significant more female representation in adults then their is currently men. I feel that I am on the on the edge between functional and non functional and don't fit it to the typical autism stereo type either sometimes because i am male and mask and camouflage my autism traits but i also happen to have ADHD as well and that sometimes that comorbidity makes my experiences extremely different to others on the autism spectrum.  

There are Youtubers Like Yo samdy sam & Purple Ella who have are both female but represent two very different experiences of having autism. Yo samdy sam is the more gifted and talented with a what was known as the feminine profile of autism and Purple ella who I find more relatable too because she is a Nuero divergent queen with both Autism, ADHD and other additional issues.

What i am getting at is there are small groups of sub types of people on the spectrum who will be similar but not exactly the same and you have to hunt them down and find them. I know it not that easy but they are out their and can find them if you want to but once you do you basically gained amazing friend or friends for life. Not all autistic people are them same. This forum is great example of this as there are hundred of different sub types of autistic individual that use this forum. 

Solipsist said:

Constantly masking and competing in a world not made for them. NT ways of seeing symbols and words. The entire reality wrapped up in words that are not theirs. 

In larger sectors of the ideological 'whirled' (where people suffer more from survival of the elitist delusions and all manner of abusively normalised tribalisms and individualisms and all that) your statement is to some extent quite true.

Whereas to various degrees adequate or even appropriate social-environmental facilitation means that in the real world of humans and otherwise; it and the cosmos are more befitting as individuality is not a crime but natural by design ~ whether that individuality be male, female or just as beautifully otherwise in terms of belonging collectively in the tribal sense, or individually in the nomadic or more isolated senses.

outdated to say that the way people are online is different to the way they are in person? 
dunno, could be outdated, but being outdated doesnt mean its not true.... online i can find millions of things to say, i can write essays upon essays.... real life you will struggle to get 1 single word from me.... and if you do get something from me it probably wont count as a word but rather as a random tic phrase lol

You've got some very strange, and some very outdated, ideas. 

I wonder if they're the two that I also have a problem with. Interesting. 

I don't take sides. The forum has helped massively. To get things off my chest and seek views from others.

you fit in fine and fit in better than you think,,,,,,  are probably arent as blunt, and more considerate, which is a good thing. 

This forum isn’t helping you then. It seems to go against autism traits. I’ve only joined because I’ve noticed two members giving all the rest autists a bad name. Not sure but they seem like old racist Boomers to me..?