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Is Autism 'a man's world'?

Giraffe

Please know that I'm not writing this to be deliberately inflammatory or provocative, or to have a go at anyone here, but I just feel so isolated as an Autistic woman. Most other Autistic people I've engaged with are men, and seem to have quite a different presentation and outlook on life to me. They are often very blunt, whereas I'm not. When I get emotional, they don't seem to understand - I've been accused of 'emotionally exploding', for example, simply for expressing that I felt uncomfortable with a conversation. It's more than that, though, to be honest I'm finding it quite hard to explain in logical terms...I just don't feel I fit in in the Autism world or the neurotypical world, and I'm wondering if this is because I'm female. Does anyone else feel this way?

Parents

  • I wouldn't say it's a man's world. More like a world governed by social rules and expectations, where men have to have "a", "b" and "c" qualities and women have to have "x", "y" and "z" qualities. As a girl in my childhood, I used to match the DSM description of autism much better than I do now. After years of criticism, bullying, gaslighting and so on I'm learned to "create" a new Anna for the world outside my house. It's tiring and gets so hard to do sometimes, but I can't see any other way to function "out there", even though I so wish there was. Since covid hit and I've been forced to work from home, it's soooo much easier and most days there's no blind rage and no meltdown, no clenching my teath until I get a horrible headache and swollen gums from the stress. But I am painfully aware how easily this precarious equilibrium can go to shhhhh. I now cry instead of throwing punches and curse instead of smashing things. I've learned a bunch of "lines" I recycle and reuse everytime an uncomfortable situation arises. I've started reading books written by women on the spectrum and can recognise sometimes all, sometimes most of the things I've been through. Most of our problems, as women on the spectrum, start from the fact that we can't adapt to or even accept rules we can find no logic use for (such as social constructs and rules).

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  • I wouldn't say it's a man's world. More like a world governed by social rules and expectations, where men have to have "a", "b" and "c" qualities and women have to have "x", "y" and "z" qualities. As a girl in my childhood, I used to match the DSM description of autism much better than I do now. After years of criticism, bullying, gaslighting and so on I'm learned to "create" a new Anna for the world outside my house. It's tiring and gets so hard to do sometimes, but I can't see any other way to function "out there", even though I so wish there was. Since covid hit and I've been forced to work from home, it's soooo much easier and most days there's no blind rage and no meltdown, no clenching my teath until I get a horrible headache and swollen gums from the stress. But I am painfully aware how easily this precarious equilibrium can go to shhhhh. I now cry instead of throwing punches and curse instead of smashing things. I've learned a bunch of "lines" I recycle and reuse everytime an uncomfortable situation arises. I've started reading books written by women on the spectrum and can recognise sometimes all, sometimes most of the things I've been through. Most of our problems, as women on the spectrum, start from the fact that we can't adapt to or even accept rules we can find no logic use for (such as social constructs and rules).

Children
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