Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I am currently on the waiting list via the NHS to have an autism assessment. I have always had a strong inclination that I am autistic, however I’ve not pushed hard enough for a diagnosis up until this point.
I have a job which I’ve had for almost ten months now, but I have had a meltdown, got quite angry when things ‘haven’t been done correctly’ and snapped at people. Unfortunately, in my job, there are people who like to take any ‘mistakes’ you make and run with them to management. This is of course causing me worry as I consider this job my forever job and want to do well in it and not be seen as a ‘problem’. I’ve told one person in management that I am in a waiting list to get a diagnosis, but I haven’t mentioned to anyone else, so when I have displayed autism traits it’s deemed by my colleagues as me being rude, snappy or quite frankly, strange!
Even though I have told one person in management, I’m afraid that because I haven’t had a formal diagnosis that they think I’m just using autism as an excuse for what colleagues consider to be rudeness and anger issues. I’ve had the obligatory diagnosis in the past of anxiety and depression, and have been put on medication throughout life, and have also tried to self medicate, both of which were to no avail.
I don’t want to be seen as a problem, or risk being dismissed or suspended, however I’m reluctant to tell anyone as people in this job (as I’m sure in most jobs) are not trustworthy and will use these things against you.
Has anyone had any similar experiences, or does anyone have any suggestions on how to move forward without people constantly complaining about me snapping when things are not done as I see how they need to be done?
I am so scared of having a ‘bad mark’ against my name or being punished.
If anyone could also tell me if they have tried things whilst waiting for a diagnosis, that can help with what is perceived as rudeness or snapping?
I really don’t want to lose my job, or not be given opportunity to progress because of this.
Thank you!
I have had many many jobs, but didn’t get diagnosed until I left employment and became self employed. In my experience the best thing to do is just to keep your head down and try very hard just to carry on. If you worry too much about loosing your job it could become a self fulfilling prophecy.
Depending how long you have been on the NHS list, and the expected wait time in your area, I would seriously consider going down the private route. It would get it done a lot quicker and give you the piece of mind that you have some protection at work. Unfortunately with only 10 months service you have next to none at the moment. A private diagnosis would be an investment in you.
Thanks The Riddler,
I will try and stop worrying because I think you’re right in what you’re saying. I would love to go down the private route, however it is something that is not affordable to me at present, but I’ll hold out for the NHs and try and remain positive.