Scared of losing my job

I get that all the time too! 

Thanks out_of_step 

Thanks aidie,

Active listening is something I definitely need to do more often!

Thank you again. 

Hi YarN,

Thank you so much. I’ll be letting my immediate manager know, and hopefully they will understand.

People love a listener. I feel it takes the pressure off having to do most of the speaking, but on the other hand people tell me all sorts of things I don't care about haha

yes I love Working From Home.  I can be anywhere and still able to work

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dont raise your voice 

only say something when you have something useful to say

in banter just laugh along and smile 

become an active listener ( i got free training for that ) 

Hi TJ,

Thank you so much for the direction. I appreciate it, I will let the necessary people know for now until I’ve moved forward with the assessment.

Thank you! 

Hi Katie, 

Definitely good to mention as they do have to be careful and possibly could make a reasonable adjustment. They don’t want to do something they could get in trouble for even if you are not yet diagnosed. 
it’s good you have one person you can talk to. Even if you don’t tell all, it could be worth speaking to a HR manager if you felt it was worth doing so. They will be able to advise the managers how to support you. 

I understand that when things are not where they're supposed to be or expected to be, that might bother you a great deal because they're in the wrong place. But it might be a very simple fix that takes like 5 minutes or so, and it's not worth your time or energy to get angry at something like that. 

And I do think you should be more open to the management team about your asd assessment, but only if they're understanding types of people. If they don't really care about anyone else and only care about profit, then maybe not. 

I've learned that gossip about negative behaviors spreads like the plague at workplaces. So what would make you look good in the eyes of others, is to be friendly and greeting them, compliment them for their efforts, and thanking them sometimes. For some reason, complimenting others makes you look good in return, but bad mouthing others you look bad in return. Well, I hope things go well for you. 

Hi 

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia,

Thanks for the advice. I have made my apologies instantly directly to the people concerned, however it seems as though they want to use this to get me disciplined for some reason. There is a member of the team we can go to before going to management, and it seems as though the person in question has history of doing things like this.

I definitely agree that I was in the wrong, and I immediately apologised the minute I saw the person again, so I take full responsibility for what happened. My reaction could have come across a lot better which is one of the reasons I’m going through the process of an assessment, to get help and support in dealing with situations that aren’t going as I see them in my head, if that makes sense. Unfortunately it’s one of the traits I display which hopefully will be addressed. 

With that being said, and with your thoughts given, I think it’s probably a good idea to be a bit more open with management about going through this process, because it is clear that the traits that I present in certain situations can get me in trouble, or make people feel threatened, or use something against me that I’m trying to get help for.

I appreciate your response. Thank you. 

Thanks The Riddler,

I will try and stop worrying because I think you’re right in what you’re saying. I would love to go down the private route, however it is something that is not affordable to me at present, but I’ll hold out for the NHs and try and remain positive.

Thank you! 

Anger and snapping at people is crossing a boundary with them, and your behavior is creating a threatening work environment, which is why they went to management about it. The way you said "they take any 'mistakes' you make and run with them to management," that you quoted the word 'mistakes,' means that you don't see that you made any mistakes and you don't believe that you're in the wrong here. But the thing is, no one else is responsible for controlling your anger for you, and if you can't control your anger, they might send you to places for anger management, or have some kind of training session about workplace harrassment. If It's your first time reacting that way, they might be lenient and give you another chance, but if it's goes on, they might let you go. A simple thing is just to apologize for your behavior negatively impacting others, and then the management will be more sympathetic to about hearing how you're waiting for your asd assessment. 

I have had many many jobs, but didn’t get diagnosed until I left employment and became self employed. In my experience the best thing to do is just to keep your head down and try very hard just to carry on. If you worry too much about loosing your job it could become a self fulfilling prophecy.

Depending how long you have been on the NHS list, and the expected wait time in your area, I would seriously consider going down the private route. It would get it done a lot quicker and give you the piece of mind that you have some protection at work. Unfortunately with only 10 months service you have next to none at the moment. A private diagnosis would be an investment in you.

Hi metalmikey,

Your words are a great help, thank you! I think I will have to declare it because I do want to stay in the organisation, and get support in my job.

I appreciate you replying to me. 

Loop217 said:

I would like to see it in black and white so to speak, before I declare anything at work. With this in mind, is it wise to perhaps mention that this is a process I am going through to at least help my other members of management understand

Best to let them know you're in the process.  I was diagnosed young though had tried to muddle through employment up to 2007 without declaring it, but finding I would have to in future after being told to "improve at communication skills" in appraisals at a public sector employer, showing I wasn't able to 'mask' enough to pass as NT.  Hope it works out for you.

Thank you for your response. In hindsight (if it was a job you loved), would you have been a bit more open about it? 

I’m aware you can self diagnose, and don’t necessarily have to wait for an assessment, but I would like to see it in black and white so to speak, before I declare anything at work. With this in mind, is it wise to perhaps mention that this is a process I am going through to at least help my other members of management understand and not deem me a problem?

Thank you. 

I had a similar experience, seventeen years ago. There were constant complaints about me, and I didn't declare my disability.

But, on reflection, I was in a Soulless, Gut-Wrenching Civil Service job. God didn't want me to be a Stooge.