Published on 12, July, 2020
First time posting here so I hope I'm doing it right.
I've noticed a lot recently when my Mum talks to others about me or my brother having Autism people will often say things like "Oh they have something wrong with them" or "If only we could give them normal brains" and I'm standing there feeling like absolute crap cause then I think "Well I'm obviously useless so what's even the point of being Autistic and being alive. Then there's the sympathetic sad looks from people and the" Oh I'm so sorry for you" comments. It just really gets me down sometimes. I'm very proud of my Autism as it makes me who I am but when I hear the comments it's like a punch in the gut.
I feel you and everyone who has commented here...I hate this so much. Sometimes I think the worst thing about being on the spectrum is other people's reactions to us!
Personally I think the best response to the 'I'm so sorry' thing is, 'No need to be sorry, I'm quite happy being me.' That's not rude or getting personal with them, and it's challenging their ableism without being confrontational yourself. I think you have to bear in mind that these people often aren't speaking maliciously or with the intention of being condescending; we live in an ableist world, and NT privilege is such that often people with little to no knowledge of Autism (and even many who do have knowledge, sadly!) are taught that Autism is a terrible thing and don't know how to talk to us. I don't like it when people call me 'brave' or 'inspirational' for being open about being Autistic...I don't feel like I'm being 'brave' or 'inspirational' just for speaking...but I feel like it's important to remember that people are mostly trying to be kind when they say these things, so we shouldn't come down too harshly on them. It's just about educating people as openly and honestly as we can, and setting things straight, so we can hopefully do what we can to change attitudes.