# Daily Updates 2 #

I’ve just talked to GP. My usual GP wasn’t there and so I chatted online with different one and he insisted on calling me. So we had a phone chat. My GP wanted me to start therapy and I wasn’t sure and today I just wanted to tell them that I’m willing to try it. But this guy just told me to self refer to IAPT and kept asking me why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling (you’ve got house, you’ve got family, husband, job - why aren’t you happy? You’ve got everything) Maybe he wanted to help me but he made me feel awful because I’ve got everything and still feel anxious and depressed and thought about killing myself. I’m so ungrateful, weak and negative person. And now  I’m crying again. 

I’ve just talked to GP. My usual GP wasn’t there and so I chatted online with different one and he insisted on calling me. So we had a phone chat. My GP wanted me to start therapy and I wasn’t sure and today I just wanted to tell them that I’m willing to try it. But this guy just told me to self refer to IAPT and kept asking me why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling (you’ve got house, you’ve got family, husband, job - why aren’t you happy? You’ve got everything) Maybe he wanted to help me but he made me feel awful because I’ve got everything and still feel anxious and depressed and thought about killing myself. I’m so ungrateful, weak and negative person. And now  I’m crying again. 

Ladybird said:

you’ve got house, you’ve got family, husband, job - why aren’t you happy? You’ve got everything

I may be misreading the context (direct questioning can work) but that's seems a pretty useless GP if they left you in a worse state.

Ladybird said:

I’m so ungrateful, weak and negative person.

You are none of those things. 

https://www.scarlettcurtis.com/book

(not spam, a book I brought on sale a few years ago and found really helpful - recommended). 

I couldn’t focus at work, talked to one person at work and she helped me with the work and helped to calm me down. My GP is back on Monday and I’m going to contact her and see what she thinks. Maybe I’ll increase the dose as well. I feel very fragile. 

Having those kinds of thoughts is absolutely nothing to do with what you have and don't have. It's a frickin pain in the *** when people who have absolutely no fucking clue about mental health use that kind of line and assume it's of any use to anyone. It makes me so mad!!!!

Counselling is an excellent tool and it's worth doing. They can help you to pick everything apart and get to the root of the problem. There is no shame in it and it can give you some excellent perspective to help you understand your own mind that little bit better. 

If at all possible message your GP, tell them what has happened and also inform them of your decision regarding the counselling. There are plenty of brilliant resources that you can use while you wait, (Buddhism works very well for me) but the most important thing is to understand that you are worth far more than the moron who judged you without knowing your history. Life is complicated. Sometimes, you need someone to help you to clear a path through.

sorry u feel so bad ----- --yes he was trying to quickly help ---- u can talk to people here via the PM system if there is someone u trust. I listen to 2-3 people in here. i get things wrong for sure, everyone i talk to is different but i can help suicidals that dont get on with standard therapy counsellor's etc 

Asking why you aren't happy and telling you why you should be is literally the worst thing to say! Gps can be hopeless with mental health.

he sounds very insensitive, he doesn't know you or your situation so should try to help rather than make you feel worse.