Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone
If anyone can offer advice, help, or an explanation I would be so very grateful.
I arrive home from work and I'm so completely exhausted that I need a nap. I wake up still feeling totally drained and remain that way until I go to bed. Regardless of how much sleep I have, I will still awake in the morning feeling so unbelievably tired. Feeling that way all day, I get home and need a nap, the cycle continues. I then spend Saturday lethargic, by Sunday evening I'm feeling better, then come Monday it all begins again.
Can anyone help, know what this is about? I honestly don't feel like this is living at all. Does anyone else experience this?
Pikl I just want to add I can empathise with this and quite often feel the same. I can have a good night's sleep but rarely wake up refreshed.
For me I think it's daily interactions with people at work alongside my actual work tasks, the "shifting of the gears" in my working day but also every day life. There are days when I can just be exhausted. Quite often it feels like by Monday I'm spent and the rest of week is running on reserves. It was really bad a few years ago and I got signed off work and now I just do 4 days a week. That was before I knew I had GAD and AS.
How you feel is not normal. Check with your GP for any physical stuff but otherwise you need to look at what you can change in your daily life. Have had any big things going on in your life you maybe haven't fully processed? Make sure you get enough rest at the weekend. Sometimes I have a nap after work. I usually feel worse after but it helps me sleep better at night. I think for autistic people, we use our brain differently and so it often has to work harder (I'm thinking social interaction and shifting of gears...) which can contribute to the tiredness.
Sorry you're feeling this way too, feeling this exhausted all the time is awful. Some days I feel that I can't continue this way. Work for me involves chaos, noise, bright lights, planning, being alert, focused and reactive. It's fast paced.
I go outside for my break, whatever the weather, just for the quiet.
Today it was a training day, different building, better lighting, I was happier and excitable. Got home home early, but by 4.30 I was feeling drained and had a sleep, woke up 20 mins ago.
I feel a lot better today, and that really says it all, I think.
You probably do more than most people.
It sounds like you are "swtiched on" constantly during the day. Is there a quiet place you can go to to get a break? I have to go to my car because there's nowhere else in my centre where I can be left alone. I don't ever get my full break but the time I have is spent listening to a podcast of something of my interest or putting a bit of music on. Do you have time to do, or do you do anything, which is of interest in your break time? This might help to just shift your focus a bit during your break.
I put a lot on myself too. I like to maintain high standards but I've realised you can't aim for 100% because it's just not realistic. I think a lot of people blag their way through stuff but I like to do things right. Integrity is important....however, I've learned to be more forgiving of myself. This is possible and can still maintain standards. It's all work in progress but I think the fact you have identified you feel the way you do is a start. I'm also trying to be more honest with myself and say to others when I'm not right. Have you got anyone you can reach out to say "look, i'm struggling today"? Sometimes, it's just a text to someone, but it helps.
I work in a nursery supporting children with special educational needs. I do the planning, run activities, evaluate their needs and next steps for their development. I run intervention programs that I choose. I also have 2 NT children.
I know I put a lot on myself, yet if I don't then I suffer greatly with anxiety that I don't do enough.
You don't want to get to the stage where it breaks you. It's good you have recognised it in yourself now and want to do something about it. I didn't realise at the time and it's only since I've had my AS diagnosis I can see how much of a load every day life at work puts onto me. It sounds like you have a big load on your senses at work. You aren't a teacher by any chance are you?!
Have you got kids too? I don't know how people manage to work and have a family.
Have you considered time off or reduced hours? This would give you chance to catch up a little bit and give your head some space. That would then help you think a bit more clearly about how you can address these problems and build in time for yourself. I know what its like when your brain is at full capacity - it doesn't give you room to think clearly or evaluate properly as you are constantly playing catch up. Were there any recommendations in your report?
One thing - you need to be forgiving of yourself. You aren't a robot, you are a human being.