Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone,
Just wondering if anyone has ever been in a similar situation? I still live at home with my mum and the past few years have become increasingly difficult for her to keep the family home going especially considering I can't contribute as I am one of the 78% of unemployed people with autism. Anyway she was sadly forced into selling and today we finally moved. I left behind the only home I have ever known (we lived abroad for about 5 years when I was very young but kept the house and rented it out). I've really been dreading it all happening and kind of hoped in some distant fairytale land that some how it wouldn't happen. But now it has and I've struggled so much today. I've been crying every few minutes and I am NOT a crier. Ever. I'm just really really struggling with it all. I'm guessing my ASD and the whole resistance to change thing is playing a part here but I feel like such a wally. People move house all the time and its really not a big deal. I know my friends and family are there for me but I don't feel like I can really talk to them about how much I hate this because there are so many very much worse things in the world. Don't get me wrong, I fully understand, especially given the last year, that things could be a lot worse and I am very grateful for what I do have. I also know that in time it will get easier and I just need to get used to it all but at the moment I'm struggling to see past it all. I spent the majority of my 30 years in that house with the same neighbours, the same everything. And because mum was forced into selling she had to find somewhere quick so our new house is far from ideal and neither of us are particularly excited by the prospect.
Has anyone else ever struggled with having to move house?
Sophie
Yep. I'm currently spending about two thirds of my income paying rent on the 2-bed flat I used to share with my ex, having talked him into not telling the letting agent he's moved out so they don't reassess me, because moving house is so far above what I can handle. Moving here nine years ago nearly broke me and that was with him organising everything. I can't see any time in the future where I'll be able to cope with finding a new place to live, as I'm at the most mentally healthy I've ever been right now and it's about 100x more than I could handle.
I guess I stay here for as long as I can and try to find someone who would let me move in with them if I got kicked out.
HP35 said:let me move in with them
and oversee the process of moving if it's to much,
my last change of flat, though inside the same city was to much to handle, but a friend helped me, overseeing rented crew
It's more finding a place to live that's the issue. Agents and officialdom in general are a brick wall to me. I don't like owning much stuff so I'd probably just throw a lot out and walk everything else over to wherever I ended up moving to in multiple trips
Yeah, I could get my ex to act as guarantor, or pay 12 months upfront from savings. It's arranging viewings and communicating with agents in general that I can't handle. If I could figure out how to communicate I could cash-buy a flat and stay there forever.
I found a solution for low earnings obstacle at last, one of my friends agreed to be my guarantor next time I want to move