Published on 12, July, 2020
Recently I’ve become increasingly aware of what could be described as a lack of motivation. Only I don’t think it is that simple. I like to plan things to the nth degree (no surprise there) and usually start this process days or weeks in advance. If then on the day everything goes to plan, i.e deliveries turn up on time, people turn up on time and do what they are supposed to, etc, etc. All good! However, if something doesn’t go right, that’s it, I’m stumped. It’s like someone has turned me off.
I can sit on the sofa all day, or knowing what to do, until I can get into a reorganisation phase and try again. A prime example is the garden building/home office project I’ve got at home at the moment. There are obviously 1000’s of things to do, if if I’ve planned steps 8,9,10, and the materials I need for 9 don’t turn up. That’s it, none starter. Although I could do bits of 11, 15 and 197.
I can’t decide if this is “normal”, I have low motivation or what’s going on.
Maybe you're trying to control things too much or maybe you are too much of a perfectionist when those attributes are not quite required in certain things or projects such as you describe ? For example, would the sky fall-in if your home office took 6 months as opposed to 4 ?
I could understand if you were say, working at NASA and planning the temperature, breathing capabilities, oxygen levels, fuel consumption or the mathematical time equations for an astronaut to go and come back from space to earth safely, that would be real pressure beyond most people's understanding, but building a garden shed/home office, that's not something to get upset about unnecessarily is it ?
This is not to gloss-over in any way, what maybe a habit or lifetime pattern you've recently become aware of. Awareness, of the problem is progress, believe me but it's not the end, Only the beginning of working through our conditioning. We have to unlearn many things, compared to the average Joe. This does not happen overnight but :
" The unexamined life is not worth living. ".
" Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans ".
Did I not mention it’s a garden building at NASA for astronauts to training with breathing apparatus!!