Published on 12, July, 2020
On reflection, I think this problem has defined much of my life since childhood. To the point where even now in my late 30s I struggle with interviews, shops or even speaking up infront of family members who often make fun of anything that might give rise to some poor excuse for humour.
Feeling this to such an extreme level, is this normal, does this happen to you? How do you cope with situations where the attention is directed and you, your work, or your life?
I agree, but then I ask I think if you had known maybe you wouldn't have forced yourself through the issues and potentially settled for struggling without work? The figure of only 15% of people on the spectrum being in employment is a frightening statistic.
But I also think the fact that society of willing to let that be the case says a lot about the world of the NT in general; if it doesn't effect you directly then why concern yourself with it.
Hats off for getting to where you have. I'm a way off being in a good place with work, but feel proud I've made it this far with all the issues and the chronic illness. At least there is some self pride there
The figure is shocking but, as with the stats on suicide and life expectancy, I'm not sure how reliable they are. Although the prevalence rate for autism has presumably remained constant, the identification rate has increased. So, depending upon when the studies were done, they might not be totally representative or inclusive, more of an indication. I know, that's bad enough.
I always managed to stay in employment, however difficult it felt, but I won't be in any of the figures. Nor will others like me who were diagnosed later in life. Too many people are still getting missed. I come from a long line of unidentified autistics who have worked, married and, from the outside, appeared to be coping. We're also quite long lived. But the downside came in the area of poor, sometimes extremely poor, mental health.
The figures are still abysmal and things need to change, but I'm actually more afraid of the psychological damage caused by staying in work that is never going to be suitable, of the damaging effects of masking and of feeling pushed into situations which I know aren't right for me. So a part of me wishes I'd settled for unemployment and not brought a whole heap of trauma upon myself. I'm also sort of curious about the 15%. I wonder whether they're happy in their work and, if not, what they're able to do about it...