Autism and sexual desire

I think your perspective on that isn't accurate.

I'll sum up what I am trying to say in one go. I am not judging anyone in general who has hypersexuality disorder. I am saying it is definitely a condition that they suffer from and it does cause harm most of the time. I have seen ALOT of this. People who are sexually healthy generally have relationships with other people one at a time, space over extended time periods, They usually and they have healthy boundaries that keep them and others safe and well. 

The aspect of it that find repulsive is not the hypersexuality itself (people can do what they want behind closed doors I don't think about this) its when it occurs with narcissism and you get a monster who creates a rotten toxic environment, uses sexuality as a weapon for control and dominance (which often happens mostly in hypersexual men)  and who is generally damaging to everyone around them through abuse, lies, control , manipulation etc. 

I've not mentioned anything about relationships - it's just biology - the alpha male wants the best / most partners to push his genetic line.    Females want the alpha male because he can provide the best resources.     Neither have to like each other - and are often looking to 'upgrade' on both sides - it's often almost like a business partnership masquerading as a relationship..

Plastic said:

Men want to spread their seed with hot girls

For the types of men I am talking about its not about the girls at all. Its about control, power and dominance over their domain. If it was about the girls they actually have a relationship with them instead of using them as play things. These aren't always single girls either often they are married women with children. 

Plastic said:

I don't see where it's anything specifically to do with autism and sexuality. 

Thats not the epic debate here between myself and peter. Its whether hypersexuality is an actual condition. I was listed in the DSM 4 but it got removed due to lack of enough supporting data.

One of the meany reasons I think porn and masturbation are better proxies for libido than actual sex. A lot of women read questions in surveys about their interest in sex and equate that to their interest in sex with the partners currently available or repeating past experiences. Really these questions should be worded to refer to a hypothetical ideal partner.

An actual partner poses difficulties, they may not want the same things as you. Organising the kind of sex you want with an actual partner requires communication where as a fantasy partner wants what you want by default.

Midgets and shaving foam? 

No comment

Are your tastes so messed up? 

No 

Surely it's more fun watching it *with* your husband? 

Some of us watch more porn than our husbands... 

NAS71674 said:

sleeping around can break families up, destroy reputations and standing in communities, cause people to loose their jobs,  poses a risk for unwanted pregnancy and disease and can damage ones self esteem and cause feelings of being used and abandoned etc.

Lets take those one at a time?

• Break up families? It's posable to be promiscuous while single, with single people. It's posable to be monogamously hypersexual. The value of family is itself subjective.
• Destroy reputations? The value of such reputation is itself subjective.
• Cause people to loose their jobs? Why? Are they having sex on their office desk? I think sacking some one for who they have sex with out side the office may actually be discrimination in the legal sense.
• Pregnancy and disease? Well yes but condoms exist. Also some people welcome pregnancy even outside of a stable relationship.
• Causing negative feelings? Virtually everything can cause negative feelings. Getting last place in the poetry contest causes negative feelings. This is the hedgehogs dilemma. Whether the risk of negative feeling out weighs the potential reward is again very subjective.

People using sex for personal gain.   Who would have thought.....?

People are generally terrible in every way and will take any route to power and status and getting what they want.   It's pretty universal - but I don't see where it's anything specifically to do with autism and sexuality. 

Men want to spread their seed with hot girls - women want security and resources for their children by seeking out the high-status males - both will monkey-branch to a better option and happily abandon any previous relationships if they feel they are climbing the tree.  

It's all about DNA and searching out the best option for survival.     Just because it goes against some arbitrary social norm doesn't make it abnormal or wrong.

I find Jordan Peterson very insightful - I like watching his videos - it's interesting watching him talk about autism - but he hasn't realised that he's the biggest aspie out there.  

It does cause objective harm (sleeping around can break families up, destroy reputations and standing in communities, cause people to loose their jobs,  poses a risk for unwanted pregnancy and disease and can damage ones self esteem and cause feelings of being used and abandoned etc.) , theres not enough supporting evidence to keep it in the manual. Are you a clinician?  If you don't think sex is dangerous and being obsessed with it and addicted to it can't cause harm read up on Jordan Peterson. He talks about how insanely naive people are about how dangerous it actual is.  I have met a substantial amount of people I suspect have had hypersexuality problems and I can categorically tell you they were damaged individuals and caused nothing but harm in environments they were in. I will also say that the problem I suspect they had also had consequences in other parts of their lives and other peoples lives. They used sexuality to control and manipulate people around them and the outcome of events (they would basically let people know if they did anything like didn't like they couldn't sleep with them (I assume there are dominant and submissive forms of hypersexuality) and that coerced those people into doing things that benefited them in other ways in the workplace i.e. they used it to gain more power and control over their environments) its a condition and a very unpleasant one when coupled to narcissism in someone. I have sympathy for anyone with that condition but when its also co-morbid with narcissism the person becomes a monster and makes the environment very toxic.

Peter said:

I've met people at both ends of the spectrum (no pun intended).

Whats the pun?

damn shes good, well done Nigella  Reel them in.

What i thought was most hilarious was that this Billionaire Uber-Dom's super-secret playroom seemed to be kitted-out by Anne Summers. 

Agreed. That movie is garbage and does more harm to bdsm. I was really pissed about it & two movies ta-boot. Rifftrax or MST3K---they should rip on it.

50 Shades is an embarrassment to bdsm - the book / film is just an observation of an abusive relationship.   

I remember going with the MeetUp girls to the 2nd film - it was packed - and I was one of only 6 blokes. 

I mentioned before that our naive view of the world tends to make us a bit more open minded than the NTs.     I suspect that is why there is a higher proportion of different sexualities within the ASD community.