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Autism and sexual desire

I wondered wether there’s something in being on the autism spectrum and having reduced sexual desire-not come across anything in my reading yet so wondered what people’s experiences are? Oh and asking as a woman too. Thanks

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  • ADHD is reasonably linked with possible hypersexuality in men and women.

    https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30852107/

  • That's probably why there might be so many autistic horn dogs supposedly. Its not due to their autism its their ADHD and so even people with just ADHD can have the same problem. Makes me wonder just how many so called 'autistic traits' are actually due to other comorbid conditions.  I have to admit this is a post with a substantial amount of interest in it by people.  Being hypersexual means you have a condition not that your just open and liberal.

  • Being hypersexual means you have a condition not that your just open and liberal.

    Is it? hyper-sexuality isn't in the DSM-5. the closest equivalent in the ICD-11 is 6C72 Compulsive sexual behaviour disorder which only applies to those who can't restrain their sexual impulses  not those who choose not to. To quote the final paragraph of the ICD-11 entry

    "The pattern of failure to control intense, sexual impulses or urges and resulting repetitive sexual behaviour is manifested over an extended period of time (e.g., 6 months or more), and causes marked distress or significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational, or other important areas of functioning. Distress that is entirely related to moral judgments and disapproval about sexual impulses, urges, or behaviours is not sufficient to meet this requirement."

    So really being a 'horn dog' is really not a medical condition.

  • I know quite a few people who are hypersexual. Some are together in monogamous relationships and they work really well. Others are in polyamorous (or otherwise a it more open) relationships and they work really well too.

    If there's the right communication, hypersexuality can be really positive and constructive.

  • Respectfully, as esteemed as mayo clinic may be as an institution I don't think you can argue their patient information pages are intended as clear cut definitions of medical conditions.

    I can summarise why hyper sexuality does not meet the criteria for a medical condition.

    • There is no consistently presenting objectively negative symptom.
    • There is no distinct boundary where hyper sexuality begins, it's merely the extreme end of normal human behaviour.
    • Most examples given of potential pathological hyper sexual behaviour seem like they may also fall under other mental health conditions.

    The fact its not in the dsm-5 and that ICD-11 only acknowledges it as a problem when serious distress is involved tends to suggest prevailing medical opinion is on my side at present. I question your reliance on your own personal experience as an argument, indeed it seems to be the core of your argument. It's not very scientific, It can't be replicated or measured objectively.

  • once I feel I've reached my limit of interest in them as individuals I move on to the next one

    That's probably because most people lack any depth of personality - they are literally a veneer over a lot of nothingness.    Once you've chatted to them a couple of times you've plumbed the (shallow) depths of their life experience and are left feeling 'is that it?'    Next......

    This is why I prefer dealing with well-rounded aspies - they know stuff about lots of weird subjects - they are normally married and holding down a niche job but they usually have a million hobbies going on in the background..

  • I'm very self-analytical too and I think it has been magnified by my choice of career. I also feel emotions very intensely, including those of others, like a sponge. I do struggle with subtlety but if people are blatantly showing strong emotion then I can't avoid feeling it even if I want to. 

    I think we are all different and just share commonality. I think perhaps PEOPLE are a special interest of mine, but once I feel I've reached my limit of interest in them as individuals I move on to the next one. 

  • My psychologist says she's not met any aspies like me - my own personal brutal self-analysis has opened her eyes to what's really going on with autistic people - the multiple levels of anxiety and masking and compulsions and having to be a good person and over driving need to understand what's going on around us and having difficulties sorting out the data-overload...

    The only limits I've ever felt are the ones imposed onto me by others - normally from their tragic lack of imagination.

  • I suppose some people are closer to the autistic stereotype than others... 

  • You sound wildly extroverted. I think nearly all autistics are not like that. You must be very special.

    I am very, very different to almost everyone else, ASD or NT.     Some people say I'm special - others say 'hard work'  Smiley    I have lived a bit of an extreme life and that comes with a lot of first-hand experience..

  • How someone sounds in written word and how someone actually is in real life can be very different things. 

    I think a lot of autistic women can appear extroverted but need to recover from the social performances that we participate in. 

  • Compulsive sexual behavior is sometimes called hypersexuality, hypersexuality disorder or sexual addiction.It's an excessive preoccupation with sexual fantasies, urges or behaviors that is difficult to control, causes you distress, or negatively affects your health, job, relationships or other parts of your life.

    Compulsive sexual behavior may involve a variety of commonly enjoyable sexual experiences. Examples include masturbation, cybersex, multiple sexual partners, use of pornography or paying for sex. When these sexual behaviors become a major focus in your life, are difficult to control, and are disruptive or harmful to you or others, they may be considered compulsive sexual behavior.

    No matter what it's called or the exact nature of the behavior, untreated compulsive sexual behavior can damage your self-esteem, relationships, career, health and other people. But with treatment and self-help, you can learn to manage compulsive sexual behavior.

    Symptoms

    Some indications that you may be struggling with compulsive sexual behavior include:

    • You have recurrent and intense sexual fantasies, urges and behaviors that take up a lot of your time and feel as if they're beyond your control.
    • You feel driven to do certain sexual behaviors, feel a release of the tension afterward, but also feel guilt or remorse.
    • You've tried unsuccessfully to reduce or control your sexual fantasies, urges or behavior.
    • You use compulsive sexual behavior as an escape from other problems, such as loneliness, depression, anxiety or stress.
    • You continue to engage in sexual behaviors that have serious consequences, such as the potential for getting or giving someone else a sexually transmitted infection, the loss of important relationships, trouble at work, financial strain, or legal problems.
    • You have trouble establishing and maintaining healthy and stable relationships.

    When to see a doctor

    Seek help if you feel you've lost control of your sexual behavior, especially if your behavior causes problems for you or other people.  Compulsive sexual behavior tends to escalate over time, so get help when you first recognize there may be a problem.

    As you decide whether to seek professional help, ask yourself:

    • Can I manage my sexual impulses?
    • Am I distressed by my sexual behaviors?
    • Is my sexual behavior hurting my relationships, affecting my work or resulting in negative consequences, such as getting arrested?
    • Do I try to hide my sexual behavior?

    Seeking help for compulsive sexual behavior can be difficult because it's such a deeply personal matter. Try to:

    • Set aside any shame or embarrassment and focus on the benefits of getting treatment.
    • Remember that you're not alone — many people struggle with compulsive sexual behavior. Mental health professionals are trained to be understanding and discreet. But not all mental health professionals are experienced in treating compulsive sexual behavior, so make sure you find a therapist who is competent in this area.
    • Keep in mind what you say to a doctor or mental health professional is kept confidential, except in cases where you report that you're going to hurt yourself or someone else, you report sexual abuse of a child, or you report abuse or neglect of someone in a vulnerable population.

    This is condition it is not healthy. Its not immoral either its a medical condition. You really have no convincing argument that it isn't except, its not in the DSM-5. I have also encountered multitudes of people with this condition and I can tell you they were not well. They thought they were empowered and liberal etc but they were not well and just didn't seek any help. No one is saying pleasure seeking isn't a normal human activity, it certainly is, but its the context around this that make this a condition that needs treatment. 

  • You sound wildly extroverted. I think nearly all autistics are not like that. You must be very special.

  • Plastic are you neurotypical by any chance?

    Not in the slightest - but I've lived a lot more than most people ever do in their entire lives - been there and done it - so I am able to not get bogged down in ASD victimhood and look at the bigger picture.

  • Ok and as your personal opinion I don't have a problem with that but as a clinical assertion I do. There are plenty of people who are engaged in frequent sexual activity with a range of different people who are clearly not mentally ill.

    As for narcissistic people weaponising sex for personal control, well that might come under other sections of the dsm-5 including possibly Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Any possibility of an alternative diagnosis in the dsm-5 would probably have excluded a hypothetical diagnosis of hyper sexuality even if it had been included in the dsm-5.

  • Plastic are you neurotypical by any chance?

  • Sorry, I disagree slightly with all of that.   

    You'd be surprised at the number of alternate lifestyles that exist quite happily and safely and in parallel with other relationships.     The traditional relationship model is pretty much a Disney fantasy - divorce stats back that up.

    And I'm pretty sure it's not just men - it's much more like 50/50 of abusers and users - although the media spin it differently for political reasons - the facts show things are pretty equal.

  • I think your perspective on that isn't accurate.

  • Your a smart girl you have caught on.

  • I'll sum up what I am trying to say in one go. I am not judging anyone in general who has hypersexuality disorder. I am saying it is definitely a condition that they suffer from and it does cause harm most of the time. I have seen ALOT of this. People who are sexually healthy generally have relationships with other people one at a time, space over extended time periods, They usually and they have healthy boundaries that keep them and others safe and well. 

    The aspect of it that find repulsive is not the hypersexuality itself (people can do what they want behind closed doors I don't think about this) its when it occurs with narcissism and you get a monster who creates a rotten toxic environment, uses sexuality as a weapon for control and dominance (which often happens mostly in hypersexual men)  and who is generally damaging to everyone around them through abuse, lies, control , manipulation etc. 

  • I haven't followed your conversation but I've never liked the alpha males. They are generally arrogant tosspots. I prefer the interesting guys who are too intelligent to get into alpha male contests.

  • I've not mentioned anything about relationships - it's just biology - the alpha male wants the best / most partners to push his genetic line.    Females want the alpha male because he can provide the best resources.     Neither have to like each other - and are often looking to 'upgrade' on both sides - it's often almost like a business partnership masquerading as a relationship..

  • Men want to spread their seed with hot girls

    For the types of men I am talking about its not about the girls at all. Its about control, power and dominance over their domain. If it was about the girls they actually have a relationship with them instead of using them as play things. These aren't always single girls either often they are married women with children. 

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  • Men want to spread their seed with hot girls

    For the types of men I am talking about its not about the girls at all. Its about control, power and dominance over their domain. If it was about the girls they actually have a relationship with them instead of using them as play things. These aren't always single girls either often they are married women with children. 

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