I wondered wether there’s something in being on the autism spectrum and having reduced sexual desire-not come across anything in my reading yet so wondered what people’s experiences are? Oh and asking as a woman too. Thanks
My early sex life was much the same. It is something I used as a bit of a superficial way to seek connection with people but obviously you need more than just sex for that. I've learned that now but to be honest I don't feel particularly connected to my husband on an emotional level most of the time. We just tolerate each other well!!! It works for us though.
I sort of imagine that where most zoos go wrong with panda breeding programmes is that they don't have an adequate supply of bamboo shoots readily too hand. But that is definitely not true of too many humans. I used to love bamboo shoots when I was young, but these days I live somewhere where they are often used too liberally in cooking, and are thus not often of the freshest and most succulent. Not the best aphrodisiac. I'd say far too boringly bland. I'll stick to the rolled oats myself. ;-)
All this talk of alpha males is also a huge disincentive. Who needs to act like Donald Trump 24 hours of the day!? Life is far too interesting to let mating behaviour become the be-all & end-all of everything. Also there are other theories out there about sharing and co-operation that tend to mess up some of that selfish gene stuff.
Sex generally evolves from a substantial social relationships/events with other people over a decent amount of time in most cases, and autistic people have severe difficulties with this so most realistically autistic people will not be having a lot of sex. If someone claims that they are going about sleeping with this person and that person etc doing all these wild things they have to have been very skilled socially (even if you throw in some basic stuff about women what the alpha etc (thats another point, how many autistic men are going to be an alpha? I mean really?) to try and explain it away) to get those experiences and that contradicts one of the core natures of autistic people.
Autism in women is much much less well defined and understood and women (check the history, the research historially is much much more developed and targeted towards males) generally are more experienced in sex as men want women much much more than women want men (most likely with neurotypical men who are capable of the social skill needed, or they are just so god dam sexy any red blooded woman can't help but throw their selves at the alpha and the omega :) we are all just animals at base ;) , this might be true in some cases but that won't be an autistic male) attempting to associate some sort of liberal sexual trait to autism especially from a female autistic perspective is just pseudoscience and is really unhelpful and logically is just nonsense and inconsistent with the well established other traits in autistic people.
Agree but when I think about it, I actually did need some protection - well, of sorts, as I was clearly on a downward spiral whilst thinking I was having a great time and needed more of it. Still, i didn't know that I was autistic and probably quite vulnerable too. I didn't understand why it wasn't necessarily a good thing to get drunk then proposition someone at the bar. I don't remember receiving any education on this but it was maybe perhaps included amongst all the other things that were supposed to be "obvious". I do remember receiving lots of hate and judement though. :(
Well, one of the things that came up in my own autism assessment was that, in my late teens, early 20s, I actually found it easier to have sex with someone than to talk to them! Of course, I did have to talk to them first, but this was helped along with frisium and alcohol. Moreover, I think I needed and used sex as the ultimate stim! It was sensory-seeking rather than avoiding.
I could say more but had better refrain from giving too much detail. However, I do think this information, along with the detail, helped towards my eventual diagnosis rather than working against it. Believe it! :)
once I feel I've reached my limit of interest in them as individuals I move on to the next one
That's probably because most people lack any depth of personality - they are literally a veneer over a lot of nothingness. Once you've chatted to them a couple of times you've plumbed the (shallow) depths of their life experience and are left feeling 'is that it?' Next......
This is why I prefer dealing with well-rounded aspies - they know stuff about lots of weird subjects - they are normally married and holding down a niche job but they usually have a million hobbies going on in the background..
I'm very self-analytical too and I think it has been magnified by my choice of career. I also feel emotions very intensely, including those of others, like a sponge. I do struggle with subtlety but if people are blatantly showing strong emotion then I can't avoid feeling it even if I want to.
I think we are all different and just share commonality. I think perhaps PEOPLE are a special interest of mine, but once I feel I've reached my limit of interest in them as individuals I move on to the next one.
My psychologist says she's not met any aspies like me - my own personal brutal self-analysis has opened her eyes to what's really going on with autistic people - the multiple levels of anxiety and masking and compulsions and having to be a good person and over driving need to understand what's going on around us and having difficulties sorting out the data-overload...
The only limits I've ever felt are the ones imposed onto me by others - normally from their tragic lack of imagination.
You sound wildly extroverted. I think nearly all autistics are not like that. You must be very special.
I am very, very different to almost everyone else, ASD or NT. Some people say I'm special - others say 'hard work' 
I have lived a bit of an extreme life and that comes with a lot of first-hand experience..
Compulsive sexual behavior is sometimes called hypersexuality, hypersexuality disorder or sexual addiction.It's an excessive preoccupation with sexual fantasies, urges or behaviors that is difficult to control, causes you distress, or negatively affects your health, job, relationships or other parts of your life.
Compulsive sexual behavior may involve a variety of commonly enjoyable sexual experiences. Examples include masturbation, cybersex, multiple sexual partners, use of pornography or paying for sex. When these sexual behaviors become a major focus in your life, are difficult to control, and are disruptive or harmful to you or others, they may be considered compulsive sexual behavior.
No matter what it's called or the exact nature of the behavior, untreated compulsive sexual behavior can damage your self-esteem, relationships, career, health and other people. But with treatment and self-help, you can learn to manage compulsive sexual behavior.
Some indications that you may be struggling with compulsive sexual behavior include:
Seek help if you feel you've lost control of your sexual behavior, especially if your behavior causes problems for you or other people. Compulsive sexual behavior tends to escalate over time, so get help when you first recognize there may be a problem.
As you decide whether to seek professional help, ask yourself:
Seeking help for compulsive sexual behavior can be difficult because it's such a deeply personal matter. Try to:
This is condition it is not healthy. Its not immoral either its a medical condition. You really have no convincing argument that it isn't except, its not in the DSM-5. I have also encountered multitudes of people with this condition and I can tell you they were not well. They thought they were empowered and liberal etc but they were not well and just didn't seek any help. No one is saying pleasure seeking isn't a normal human activity, it certainly is, but its the context around this that make this a condition that needs treatment.
Plastic are you neurotypical by any chance?
Not in the slightest - but I've lived a lot more than most people ever do in their entire lives - been there and done it - so I am able to not get bogged down in ASD victimhood and look at the bigger picture.
Ok and as your personal opinion I don't have a problem with that but as a clinical assertion I do. There are plenty of people who are engaged in frequent sexual activity with a range of different people who are clearly not mentally ill.
As for narcissistic people weaponising sex for personal control, well that might come under other sections of the dsm-5 including possibly Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Any possibility of an alternative diagnosis in the dsm-5 would probably have excluded a hypothetical diagnosis of hyper sexuality even if it had been included in the dsm-5.
Sorry, I disagree slightly with all of that.
You'd be surprised at the number of alternate lifestyles that exist quite happily and safely and in parallel with other relationships. The traditional relationship model is pretty much a Disney fantasy - divorce stats back that up.
And I'm pretty sure it's not just men - it's much more like 50/50 of abusers and users - although the media spin it differently for political reasons - the facts show things are pretty equal.
