Autism and sexual desire

Hi!  I personally have always had a low sexual desire.  I'm not one for touchy-feely affection or cuddling from anyone (hubby, mom) unless I'm not feeling well, but there are limits with that, too.  Unfortunately, my antidepressants make it worse.  Hubby can be a cuddle bug and has a normal sex drive, but he understands how psych medication affects libido.  The bad/confusing part is I enjoy being with my husband sexually, but I lack the desire to get to that point of intimacy.  For me, it's like taking a shower or making a favorite dish.  I put it off and put it off, but when I take the shower or have my favorite dish, it really hits the spot.  

This is me too. Once we are there, I'm fine, but getting there in the first place is an effort. 

I think women are "cerebral" and ASD women more so. I think that's why Outlander or a period drama is more exhilerating/sexy for 1 kiss that took 20 episodes than watching something racier that "gets to the point" faster. How can we capture the romance/mental interest w/o being corny or getting into a script. That's the question. I've often told my husband....I think women are "in their brain" and men are "in their body" to get into sex. Ok--last post for a while--this topic is interesting....but don't want to get into trouble lol. 

The movie was awful I have to admit, I'm not sure if anyone was comfortable or confident about BDSM after watching the movie and reading the book. 

The biggest problem with questionnaires is that people lie.   They tailor the answers to their false reality that they think they live.   And we all know that NTs are compulsive liars.

Social research is usually questionnaire based. They get a sample of people and ask them a panel of  pre determined questions, often on paper. Much like the studies I referenced earlier in the thread. But the choice of questions and the selection of samples can sometimes be very questionable.

What are these questionnaires?! 

I agree the ease of finding your preferences and having them fulfilled makes porn an easy option though. 

One of the meany reasons I think porn and masturbation are better proxies for libido than actual sex. A lot of women read questions in surveys about their interest in sex and equate that to their interest in sex with the partners currently available or repeating past experiences. Really these questions should be worded to refer to a hypothetical ideal partner.

An actual partner poses difficulties, they may not want the same things as you. Organising the kind of sex you want with an actual partner requires communication where as a fantasy partner wants what you want by default.

Midgets and shaving foam? 

No comment

Are your tastes so messed up? 

No 

Surely it's more fun watching it *with* your husband? 

Some of us watch more porn than our husbands... 

What i thought was most hilarious was that this Billionaire Uber-Dom's super-secret playroom seemed to be kitted-out by Anne Summers. 

Agreed. That movie is garbage and does more harm to bdsm. I was really pissed about it & two movies ta-boot. Rifftrax or MST3K---they should rip on it.

50 Shades is an embarrassment to bdsm - the book / film is just an observation of an abusive relationship.   

I remember going with the MeetUp girls to the 2nd film - it was packed - and I was one of only 6 blokes. 

I mentioned before that our naive view of the world tends to make us a bit more open minded than the NTs.     I suspect that is why there is a higher proportion of different sexualities within the ASD community.

Nothing against the porn industry. Actually, I think it's wrong so many people like it, yet in the same breath condemn it. I think it's great. Yick, 50 shades of grey is not a positive example/happy thing in the bdsm community. I think we should evaluate society's and our own personal mental modules to find out internally what's going on with us/what we're told/what we like.

I'm not sure I agree with this - look how many millions of copies of 50 Shades were sold - almost 100% bought by women.     I wouldn't say more cerebral - just more inhibited and judgemental about sex.     Blokes are seen as 'horn-dogs' because of the more overt porn industry.

I'm not sure I agree with this - look how many millions of copies of 50 Shades were sold - almost 100% bought by women.     I wouldn't say more cerebral - just more inhibited and judgemental about sex.     Blokes are seen as 'horn-dogs' because of the more overt porn industry.

The movie was awful I have to admit, I'm not sure if anyone was comfortable or confident about BDSM after watching the movie and reading the book. 

The biggest problem with questionnaires is that people lie.   They tailor the answers to their false reality that they think they live.   And we all know that NTs are compulsive liars.

Social research is usually questionnaire based. They get a sample of people and ask them a panel of  pre determined questions, often on paper. Much like the studies I referenced earlier in the thread. But the choice of questions and the selection of samples can sometimes be very questionable.

What are these questionnaires?! 

I agree the ease of finding your preferences and having them fulfilled makes porn an easy option though. 

One of the meany reasons I think porn and masturbation are better proxies for libido than actual sex. A lot of women read questions in surveys about their interest in sex and equate that to their interest in sex with the partners currently available or repeating past experiences. Really these questions should be worded to refer to a hypothetical ideal partner.

An actual partner poses difficulties, they may not want the same things as you. Organising the kind of sex you want with an actual partner requires communication where as a fantasy partner wants what you want by default.

Midgets and shaving foam? 

No comment

Are your tastes so messed up? 

No 

Surely it's more fun watching it *with* your husband? 

Some of us watch more porn than our husbands... 

What i thought was most hilarious was that this Billionaire Uber-Dom's super-secret playroom seemed to be kitted-out by Anne Summers. 

Agreed. That movie is garbage and does more harm to bdsm. I was really pissed about it & two movies ta-boot. Rifftrax or MST3K---they should rip on it.

50 Shades is an embarrassment to bdsm - the book / film is just an observation of an abusive relationship.   

I remember going with the MeetUp girls to the 2nd film - it was packed - and I was one of only 6 blokes. 

I mentioned before that our naive view of the world tends to make us a bit more open minded than the NTs.     I suspect that is why there is a higher proportion of different sexualities within the ASD community.

Nothing against the porn industry. Actually, I think it's wrong so many people like it, yet in the same breath condemn it. I think it's great. Yick, 50 shades of grey is not a positive example/happy thing in the bdsm community. I think we should evaluate society's and our own personal mental modules to find out internally what's going on with us/what we're told/what we like.