Published on 12, July, 2020
I wondered wether there’s something in being on the autism spectrum and having reduced sexual desire-not come across anything in my reading yet so wondered what people’s experiences are? Oh and asking as a woman too. Thanks
Just popping back to this thread with a related thought.
My own experience has been of heightened or even excess desire and it's occurred to me that this drive may well have been linked to a need to self regulate, dissipate nervous energy and get close to another human being without having to engage in what I often see as excruciatingly embarrassing small talk.
Is it possible to somehow hide behind sex (as part of a mask and an avoidance strategy) and, at the same time, use it as more of a stim? I'm not sure I actually think about sex in the same way as others do, although I could be wrong.
Am I in a minority with this?
I'm sure that is posable. I'm also sure its very effective. I've seen smart young women, who I suspect were autistic, use their sexuality, or at least aggressive flirting, to build tight friendship groups centred on them. They didn't have to fake normality, or at least not too hard. I'm sure it comes with down sides but the up sides seem pretty good.
Well, it was always part of my "fakery", or masking, but it did provide relief from social anxiety - i.e. let's cut to the physicality so's we can avoid all those faltering, stress-inducing conversations.Not without significant downsides though. Hypersexual females seem to be almost invariably judged quite harshly from all sides (incl. female friends) plus the risks of STDs and violence are ever-present. I look back at my youth with horror, not with pleasure at the thrill of it all (which was momentary, really). Thinking about it, I could actually have died on a very unwholesome mix of sex and alcohol and many would have said I deserved it!
Yes, generally speaking that rings true. I adopted a mask based upon what felt safe and seemed acceptable, if not admirable. But then, not only am I left with the feeling that I've lived half my life pretending to be someone else, I also attracted a lot of blame when I took it to the nth degree, somehow imagining that I was really good at it.
I'm just hoping that the rest of our lives can be different.
That is so deep. I can totally understand it (sorry if I am butting in your convo)
I am only just starting to really unmask now. I totally get about wanting intellectual converstations and it never happening.
Reading your posts, so much of it sounds like what I went through. Its almost like we had to lower ourselves to their standards and now we look back and think why wernt we just true to us