Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm interested if other people are parents. I have two daughters, age 3 and 7. They are part of what prompted me to speak to my GP about autism as I found myself often being very blunt and cold towards them. My 7yr old told her dad that I love my dog more than her because I give it more attention. I do find stroking my dog soothing, whereas I really struggle with my children trying to grab me all the time. I also feel an aversion to their voices if they speak too loud or too much. It feels so horrible to say that as I do love my children. I can't stand being around young children generally because of the noises that they make, so it isnt just my own children. My 3yr old also told her childminder that I don't like her sitting on my knee, which is true but it sounds absolutely awful when she says it to other people so I just laughed it off.
I dont want my children to think I don't love them.
I have been autistic since a child but never diagnosed. My son is 15 and it seemed we had a loving relationship until recenty. Now I cant relate to him, he cant relate to me. I ask him to do somehting, he says no. I ask where somehting is, he ignores me or says something that gets me angry. I feel like a failure at being a dad. I feel bullied at work too. Lockdown so noone to talk to. I really dont know where to turn.
Are you able to chat to your son about other stuff - holiday planning, new car purchase or any other non-confrontational stuff? What does he like?