Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm interested if other people are parents. I have two daughters, age 3 and 7. They are part of what prompted me to speak to my GP about autism as I found myself often being very blunt and cold towards them. My 7yr old told her dad that I love my dog more than her because I give it more attention. I do find stroking my dog soothing, whereas I really struggle with my children trying to grab me all the time. I also feel an aversion to their voices if they speak too loud or too much. It feels so horrible to say that as I do love my children. I can't stand being around young children generally because of the noises that they make, so it isnt just my own children. My 3yr old also told her childminder that I don't like her sitting on my knee, which is true but it sounds absolutely awful when she says it to other people so I just laughed it off.
I dont want my children to think I don't love them.
Yes - it was my daughter growing up so fast and changing so quickly that showed my mask could not adapt fast enough - I began to malfunction very obviously around her.when she was around 7or 8 - that prompted the discussion with my friend's wife - a teacher with experience in ASD and she said she had suspected for a while that I was aspie - but didn't feel comfortable mentioning it..
I was referred and diagnosed a few weeks later.
It's been difficult with my daughter - i'm an engineer - I solve problems and that's not what people really want. In fact, we ended up having a big, heated 'discussion' only a few months ago and I think we've finally cleared the air and fixed all the problems between us - at 21, she's now old enough to fully understand the reason for the conflicts and difficulties over the years.
We seem to be finally communicating properly.
Just in time.