Published on 12, July, 2020
MY Husband was diagnosed with ASD a couple of years ago and has always had episodes where it has been hard to live with him. Recently due to Covid and isolation, these have become worse than usual, and I am really struggling. He has so much hate for the world inside him, which he takes out on me. I cannot do or say the right thing at the moment and its really getting me down. We are supposed to be decorating our lounge before Christmas, but he has given up on it after removing all the furniture and destroying the carpet. My problem is I find it hard to distinguish between ASD behaviour and a controlling relationship. I seem to spend all my time saying sorry. I try to understand him, but I dont always get it right and spend my life walking on eggshells around him. Feeling quite desperate right now.
I would find a major project (chaos, mess, disorder in my daily environment + loads of small tasks to process and finish it) in the middle of this pandemic totally debilitating. Some days things can be so overwhelming I can’t manage to make the tea in the evening. You might need to find a way to get help and take that DIY off his to do list if it’s overwhelming.
my NT partner and I have talked a lot about my heightened need for control these days. With so much feeling unpredictable in life (work, pandemic, changing routines) this is resulting in me seeking to need certainty elsewhere
hope you can find a way to help him open and communicate the things he’s experiencing and also how hard this is on your guys too
community.autism.org.uk/.../autistic-shutdowns-collection---do-you-experience-these