Published on 12, July, 2020
I posted this on previous Discussion, but wanted to share it because yes, it took a very kind work coach to explain this theory to me at the age of 24 and if anyone can read it i hope that his theory brings you a little bit of relief why your previous employment situation have ended up with you being Fired, Managed out and bullied until you had to quit work so please Join the club of employment disasters and share your stories and theory.
My Work coach tried explaining to me the reason why i keep getting fired, managed out and bullied to point of physical harm which gave me little relief. Basically he said that the reason i keep getting into these negative situation is because i am so desperate for getting employed i take the first employment opportunity available without questioning why the company employing me are so desperate for staff.
He then went on about how bad work environments are the normal because bad management or bad managers have worked out a system that separates people into four main groups to make their life easier.
(Group 1) The workers who are competent at their job and don't cause their managers problems.
(Group 2) The workers who are not competent at their job and don't cause their managers problems.
(Group 3) The workers who are competent at their job and complain and cause their managers problems.
(Group 4) The Worker who are not competent at their job and complain and cause their managers problems.
The work coach then stated to me that only (Group 1) and (Group 2) succeed in the workplace because (Group 1) Works themself silly to make up for (Group 2) lack of competence or poor work ethic but because the manager/Supervisor is not being pestered and the work getting done they Don't really care. This usually leaves (Group 2) with excess energy because they are not using their energy to work and complete tasks so they cause drama and problems for other staff members usually (Group 3) and (Group 4).
The work coach then went on to explain to me why this sort of work environment is bad is because (Group 2) will usually feel intimidated by anyone new that would otherwise be considered (Group 1) because they will show up and make (Group 2) look more incompetent. which is bad for workplace morale and productivity. but as long as manager/Supervisor are not be bothered they allow it to happen because interviewing and hiring is easier than dealing with (Group 2) because it takes more effort and continued effort eliminate (Group 2) from the workplace.
The work coach then went on to say how people in (Group 1) moves on to another workplace that is isn't poorly managed and (Group 2) usually progresses to manager and supervisor in the same workplace where the cycles continues and occasionally the (Group 2) manager/supervisor folds under the pressure and quits or get fired for incompetence.
the work coach went on to say that most autistic people fall in either (Group 1) OR (Group 3) because the autistic individual become a threat to (Group 2) because we unintentionally show them up by just getting on with work/task which leads to the autistic individuals being bullied at work by (Group 2). We autistic individuals then have a choice and it's usually an unfair one. we then have to make choice to report the bullying and become a classed as (Group 3) and then get fired, Managed out or we continue with the workplace harassment and bullying to keep our status as a (Group 1) but end up quitting or becoming physical harmed or disfigured.
The Work coach then told me that most entry level jobs are poorly managed and because i'm autistic and i haven't had the opportunity to pursue a specialized interest through education and training that i'm going to go through this cycle over and over again. He then told me because of this reason i should stop applying for work because these poorly managed employment opportunities would automatically put me in (Group 3) if i asked for any reasonable adjustment.
I sometime feel stupid because it took a work coach to explain this to me, i genuinely didn't understand why i kept having the same problem with curtain people within the workplace and why they kept targeting me.
That is very helpful to know that, I've often felt like I'm a threat to people but didn't know why. You're not stupid at all, it's unlikely most people know this.
I've been through this job cycle endless times. What I do now is freelance editing and proofreading from home, for myself. It's lonely but I don't get bullied.
That's one of my chosen strategies too. The results are similar too. I also officially retired, so that I don't have to endure the continual collocation of 'employment' and 'disaster'. ;-)
It's sad that people are getting more and more isolated and working less and less together though isn't it. Humans are becoming a race of individuals all doing their own thing and not uniting...
But I've heard so many lovely stories of mums joining such groups and meeting lifelong friends. In fact those are all the stories I've heard, especially from older mums. They said back then in the past it was much more supportive, which is what someone said above I guess.
Very disappointing and leads to a lonely life.
It's worse here in Ireland. My gran insisted that the woman I would marry had to be either a Teacher or Nurse.
I went to a mums and babies group, dear oh dear! Soooo competitive. Whose baby was first to talk, walk, eat etc. It was vicious.
They reckon that's an extension of the deep-seated 'nest building' compulsion and the need to have the best / most attractive nest to secure the best mate and have the strongest offspring. Survival of the fittest runs deep. It shows that all social collaboration is just a thin veil when it comes to predators.
You're right about the competitiveness, jeez! I went to a mums and babies group, dear oh dear! Soooo competitive. Whose baby was first to talk, walk, eat etc. It was vicious. So I didn't continue with that group or any other.
Yes, social media has a lot to answer for. I'm not on those sites. I'd be happy if the internet was like a library- read only, no social aspect. When I was little in the 70s, I played with the children in my neighbourhood, my parents were friends with their parents. So much nicer and friendlier than life is now.
Like I often say- humans are top class predators. We have nothing that preys on us anymore...so we prey on each other.
If something came along that preyed on us, we'd probably close ranks and start co-operating again.
I watched an interesting documentary a few years ago about stay-at-home- mums and it boiled down to that in the old days, people needed each other - we had friends. By the 1960s, home appliances had removed so much work from the home-maker that their boredom kicked off the whole trying to beat the Joneses, grabbing, material world - it's why almost all adverts are aimed at women these days. All those old friends have now become our competitors and we continually demonstrate our wonderful independence so we don't need friends any more - they have become the audience to our individual narcissism via social media.
I think if we went back to 56.6kb/s dial-up, the world would be a nicer place......