Join the club of employment disasters

But I've heard so many lovely stories of mums joining such groups and meeting lifelong friends. In fact those are all the stories I've heard, especially from older mums. They said back then in the past it was much more supportive, which is what someone said above I guess.

Very disappointing and leads to a lonely life.

It's worse here in Ireland. My gran insisted that the woman I would marry had to be either a Teacher or Nurse.

I went to a mums and babies group, dear oh dear! Soooo competitive. Whose baby was first to talk, walk, eat etc. It was vicious.

They reckon that's an extension of the deep-seated 'nest building' compulsion and the need to have the best / most attractive nest to secure the best mate and have the strongest offspring.     Survival of the fittest runs deep.     It shows that all social collaboration is just a thin veil when it comes to predators.

You're right about the competitiveness, jeez! I went to a mums and babies group, dear oh dear! Soooo competitive. Whose baby was first to talk, walk, eat etc. It was vicious. So I didn't continue with that group or any other.

Yes, social media has a lot to answer for. I'm not on those sites. I'd be happy if the internet was like a library- read only, no social aspect. When I was little in the 70s, I played with the children in my neighbourhood, my parents were friends with their parents. So much nicer and friendlier than life is now.

Like I often say- humans are top class predators. We have nothing that preys on us anymore...so we prey on each other. 

If something came along that preyed on us, we'd probably close ranks and start co-operating again.

I watched an interesting documentary a few years ago about stay-at-home- mums and it boiled down to that in the old days, people needed each other - we had friends.    By the 1960s, home appliances had removed so much work from the home-maker that their boredom kicked off the whole trying to beat the Joneses, grabbing, material world - it's why almost all adverts are aimed at women these days.     All those old friends have now become our competitors and we continually demonstrate our wonderful independence so we don't need friends any more - they have become the audience to our individual narcissism via social media.

I think if we went back to 56.6kb/s dial-up, the world would be a nicer place......

As long as the main means of communication is social media - there is no way ever that that could happen. Unless you move to a aprt of the UK where people still communicate with their body's - soemwhere like Colonsay where you cant get a signal and the wifi is rubbish. Folk still live in the western isles pretty much as they did 150years ago.

Senor said:

tolerance, open-mindedness, positivity, adaptability and cooperation.

Yes to that. But will it happen, hm...People are just moving further apart IMO.

Having been a stay at home mum and very isolated, lonely, exhausted with no real support, I'd welcome a society where people are at home more, and the home instead of the office becomes the centre of life again. Then all these lonely mummies, bringing up their children separately in their little boxes in every street in every town, would have people to turn to when we need them. It's not natural for one person to bring up their children alone, humans are designed to co-operate and help each other. So I hope we get 'co-operation and working together for a common cause' back into the modern world.

Agreed!  It is the story of my life, however.  And yet, I am not entirely bereft of the ability to cooperate. But I'm also not that convinced that we really need to be completely united all the time. I'd be a lot happier with a bit more tolerance, open-mindedness, positivity, adaptability and cooperation. Live, & Let Live still sums it up well for myself. At least I am lucky enough to have lived in a few places where that is still treasured.

It's sad that people are getting more and more isolated and working less and less together though isn't it. Humans are becoming a race of individuals all doing their own thing and not uniting...

That's one of my chosen strategies too. The results are similar too. I also officially retired, so that I don't have to endure the continual collocation of 'employment' and 'disaster'. ;-)

That is very helpful to know that, I've often felt like I'm a threat to people but didn't know why. You're not stupid at all, it's unlikely most people know this.

I've been through this job cycle endless times. What I do now is freelance editing and proofreading from home, for myself. It's lonely but I don't get bullied.

Forgot to add my few experiments with giving into the group 2's trying to recruit me, they didn't go well either lol

I tried to basically condense my work into the few hours they would leave me alone so that I could be like "oh sure" when they asked if I wanted to stand outside with them for ages doing nothing. I was overworked, and no matter how well my own work was done I would always be lumped into the scolding that came from managers and other staff telling off everyone who stood outside for ages

There's no winning really if you're someone who doesn't neatly fit into group 1 imo, so it's tough. I guess it's a case of trying to find those rare workplaces with better management. Would not recommend getting a job in the NHS though, this sort of division and bad management is sooooo common in a lot of sectors of work in the NHS

This is really interesting I've never heard of this before but it really makes workplace dynamics make a lot more sense! 

At the only job I've ever managed to stick at long enough to notice patterns like these it seems that I'm usually a group 3 immediately because I work hard but need lots of help getting used to the job and struggle to just get on with it like I'd prefer to. Group 2 however always wants to reel me in! And it's tough, I moved around different areas of the hospital I worked at because of this issue where the group 2 types would always want more people in their group, I assume so that they felt less bad about not bothering to work and more people on their side of it means if they get in trouble or caught slacking they can be like "oh but they all do it too!"

All well and good til someone tries to refuse (like I did on a few areas, hence having to move), because then they feel threatened, as if I'm going to go and report them for slacking because I personally don't want to. This is where it always gets ugly though because like I said earlier I need help at times so I can get slow at work some days when the executive functioning issues are rife and I'm struggling to multitask, I'll occasionally need a moment to just stop and think and recharge so that my brain will work. THAT'S when the group 2's strike usually, and start reporting and gossiping about me "slacking" *eyeroll*

i like your solidness

I was a solid 3 and eventually got 'managed out' having dealt for years with incompetent, lying middle management.

I was young and naive whenever I worked full time. However, God didn't want me to become a Government Bureaucrat.

The Civil Service was soulless and toxic.

i keep this ahandy and read it say once a year and see what group i'm in :)

I'm in this club - every job always turns sour... BUT, I ALWAYS have the last laugh. Bigger and better. 

Those poor souls stuck in jobs earning peanuts, thinking that theyre the beesnees living for the ever retreating mirrage that is Their future. The illusion of the pot of gold awaiting them at the end of the rainbow - lol. 

Don't feel stupid. Just think of it as a convoluted social hierarchy, which is every human interaction, not NT interaction. We all have to find our place's in the hierarchy, & if you don't or you don't want any part of it, you end up being unemployed. 

I've been fliting between Group 3 & 4 for my whole working life. Great post btw. With colours!!