Thoughts Surrounding Death

I don't know if this has any links to my autism, or is an off-shoot because of anxiety, or feelings of being lost sometimes.  I'm not suicidal; let me make that clear.  What I do is think about death, which is quite different to thinking about suicide.

I'm in my fifties, but even at much earlier ages, I've always thought about things like; should I be buried or cremated, or what song should play at my funeral etc.  I think about things like this on a daily basis, but definitely when I'm more anxious and not coping.  I get very emotional when I hear about death on the news etc.  It's just a subject I can't ignore.  The prospect of dying scares me.  I also have an empathy with musicians who write songs of that generally sad leaning. 

When at work, I will look down the stairwell from the top and whilst I repeat I'm not suicidal, I do think about what it would be like to fall.

Just curious if this fits with anyone else.  Apologies for raising this, but felt I needed to express my thoughts.

Parents
  • Thank you all for your honest and touching responses. I do apologise if I've once again directed your thoughts down this path.

    The lack of control and uncertainty makes a lot of sense on why I, we, may muse about it.

    Happy thoughts and best wishes to all.

Reply
  • Thank you all for your honest and touching responses. I do apologise if I've once again directed your thoughts down this path.

    The lack of control and uncertainty makes a lot of sense on why I, we, may muse about it.

    Happy thoughts and best wishes to all.

Children
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