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Funeral

MatthewD
over 4 years ago

Hi I'm Matthew,

My gran is very sick at the moment and will be gone in a few days sadly, my dad is going to say goodbye today. 

I'm very worried about the funeral because I've never been to one before and usually when I go out to places it causes me to get very hot and I usually pass out. I'm in two minds about whether to go or not. In the past when talking about funerals my gran said she would love for me to go to hers but she understood if I couldn't do it. I don't know what to do. I want to be there, say goodbye and support my dad and mum but I'm not sure if mentally I am up to it. I do know what to do.

Parents
  • over 1 year ago
    MatthewD said:
    I'm very worried about the funeral because I've never been to one before and usually when I go out to places it causes me to get very hot and I usually pass out

    Funerals can actually be much less stressful than you may expect if you are not a big emotion expresser normally.

    It is an occasion where EVERYONE is working from the same script. Ask someone with experience to explain what will happen in detail and it will be much easier to follow.

    You are going to be seen as normal if you are as unexpressive as post (some people get numb with grief) and if you cry (ask someone who is close to you -in advance- to help you out of this starts). About the only thing that is unacceptable is cursing/anger or humour.

    Since the crowd are likely to be supportive and passive then I think this will help you avoid being overcome.

    As a autist you may not be able to process your grief in the same time and way as everybody else, but if you get the chance I would suggest having your own little ceremony like AlenBorsh said - it may work or not, but trying is a part of helping process the situation.

    I hope it works out OK for you.

Reply
  • over 1 year ago
    MatthewD said:
    I'm very worried about the funeral because I've never been to one before and usually when I go out to places it causes me to get very hot and I usually pass out

    Funerals can actually be much less stressful than you may expect if you are not a big emotion expresser normally.

    It is an occasion where EVERYONE is working from the same script. Ask someone with experience to explain what will happen in detail and it will be much easier to follow.

    You are going to be seen as normal if you are as unexpressive as post (some people get numb with grief) and if you cry (ask someone who is close to you -in advance- to help you out of this starts). About the only thing that is unacceptable is cursing/anger or humour.

    Since the crowd are likely to be supportive and passive then I think this will help you avoid being overcome.

    As a autist you may not be able to process your grief in the same time and way as everybody else, but if you get the chance I would suggest having your own little ceremony like AlenBorsh said - it may work or not, but trying is a part of helping process the situation.

    I hope it works out OK for you.

Children
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