Is anyone else like this or experienced?

Hi, so my name is Matthew and I have Aspergers but also a few other things going on which I’d like to ask about as I’m not sure how serious they are. So first thing is my anxiety. After a phone call with my GP she’s put me on Sertraline but I’m too scared to take them because of the side effects. I absolutely hate feeling or being sick and as a result I won’t take them. If anything its made me even more anxious. But in two weeks time I have to call her back to let her know how I’m getting on. So that’s awkward.

My next problem, which is my biggest one is this. In my head I have what I think of as an invisible friend, but not a friend more just an acquaintance. In my head I hear her speak, sometimes to me and sometimes to herself. She warns me against certain things and sometimes tells me to do certain things. Her mood can change in seconds and living life has become difficult because of this. She can be aggressive to other people and lately she’s been telling me I’m a failure and should die which is depressing for me. At the moment phone calls with the doctor are the only way of getting professional help unless you’re really poorly. I’ve tried so many times to tell my gp about this but I don’t know what to say or how to explain it. Explaining it here is difficult enough without having to do it over the phone. I’m at a loss now.

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  • Hi Matthew, best advice was already given by mouse2, take the above message and send it to your gp. It's very clear how you are describing it. 

    Fastest way could be in an email, just copy/paste, send it and see about a reply.

    On the medication, if it's the right medication for you it can change your daily life in a very positive way. In the beginning it's going to be a bit weird, and it can take up to 2 months before it really takes full effect. I take escitalopram, in the beginning it was really strange, but now I realise it changed things a lot for the better. I perceived everybody around me as a potential threat and competitor, and now I see people that may or may not be able to help me and I can cooperate with, it made a shift towards neutrality in my brain and perception. I still have the ability to defend myself and compete, but this should not be the default, it's too tiresome. It's a bit like a new tv. In the beginning you notice something different, but after a while that tv becomes the expected standard. 

    Everybody has what they call 'internal dialogue', 

  • Everyone has internal dialogue, but it doesn't sound like my internal dialogue... Does it sound like anyone else's?

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