And I get rejected yet again

What does it take for a woman I love to love me too and not me totally unsuitable?

The last woman who felt the same way, when I let her stay the night at my flat, pee'd on the bathroom and bedroom floor. I'm not joking!

It's easy for all you lot who've not got a criminal record like me, or who didn't drop out of school like I did. Suppose I'm just meant to gather dust? You'd think I'd be irresistable with my guitar skills and worldly travels under my belt.

Well, there's nothing left for it now but to buy a big American car, spend all my money on insuring it and keeping it repaired and be absolutely gorgeous. I can't complain too much while I still have a bank account to finance it. I've been a bit of a green plonker bothered about global warming for the past decade and a half but that's all seeming a bit unimportant now. Who gives a sod if the world ends if you can't find anyone to love?

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  • It comes across as though it is you who reject other people, thus, then in turn they keep away from you as they feel hurt. 

    maybe I will do higher education one day but not for now as too many of the local college staff are horrible, bureaucratic idiots

    Working in HE a lot of students come from outside of the area and catch 2 buses, or a bus and a train. If you don't like your local establishment you could do this too? If you're not happy with your life  you need to be proactive and do your best to change things. 

    most people who do things the mainstream way will still see me as a loser

    You make huge sweeping statements about how awful people when you haven't even given them a chance. What evidence is this based upon? Most people in the mainstream have set backs. I know a lot of people who came to education later, or do not have a degree at all, and this hasn't set them back. Your experience of life is like a lot of other people and mainstream society accepts them. As an autistic you have to be careful not to create differences when they do not exist. You have a lot more in common with others than what sets you apart.

    It sounds like you've been in hurt in the past, therefore:

    • You reject people before they have a chance to reject you
    • You look for the negatives rather than positives to reinforce your view that society is awful to you
    • You don't try and change as its easier for you to be miserable than try and go through the pain of failure again.

    If you continue with this path all that you can guarantee is that you'll live the rest of your life lonely and miserable.