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Autistic boyfriend can’t keep a job - any advise would help

NAS67748
over 4 years ago

Hi All,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years he has Autism and I’m a NT . We have always had ups and downs and he has always been in and out of work he has just started a new job (1 week in) and already wants to quit. I struggle with reacting in a sympathetic way. I worry about the money side of things - I don’t make enough to cover all our outgoings. So this is my first reaction. He doesn’t think I’m being supportive enough but I’m too worried about money.

Im at a loss of how to feel. I want him to be happy and have a job he loves but I also need him to make enough money to support himself. we talk about having a family one day and I just don’t see how that is possibly. 

I’m not really sure what I’m asking or who will see this. Any advise would be helpful. 

thanks x

Parents
  • over 4 years ago

    Hey :) as others have said on here, the reality is that lots of autistic people struggle to get jobs, and those that do may struggle to keep them. It's usually a combination of the person (such as your boyfriend) having difficulties that the company either can't, or won't, accommodate for. Of course jobs aren't meant to be easy by any means though, and you need money to live.

    You're not the first person to be in this position and ask this, and you defo won't be the last. At the end of the day, you have to think about the worst-case scenario (that he can't get a job), where you will have to provide. If you think you can make things work in that scenario and want to, then you can go ahead as you are, and if he gets a job, then that's a bonus. But if you don't think things will work with you two without him having a job, it will be really difficult to live together, as well as have a family etc. You might then have to put off those goals (e.g having a family) until you can afford it. Then, you might reconsider whether this relationship can work practically (e.g. financially), irrespective of how much you love each other. It's really up to you, but you need to have a think about this kind of thing, and maybe this is something you can discuss together going forward.

    Much love <3

Reply
  • over 4 years ago

    Hey :) as others have said on here, the reality is that lots of autistic people struggle to get jobs, and those that do may struggle to keep them. It's usually a combination of the person (such as your boyfriend) having difficulties that the company either can't, or won't, accommodate for. Of course jobs aren't meant to be easy by any means though, and you need money to live.

    You're not the first person to be in this position and ask this, and you defo won't be the last. At the end of the day, you have to think about the worst-case scenario (that he can't get a job), where you will have to provide. If you think you can make things work in that scenario and want to, then you can go ahead as you are, and if he gets a job, then that's a bonus. But if you don't think things will work with you two without him having a job, it will be really difficult to live together, as well as have a family etc. You might then have to put off those goals (e.g having a family) until you can afford it. Then, you might reconsider whether this relationship can work practically (e.g. financially), irrespective of how much you love each other. It's really up to you, but you need to have a think about this kind of thing, and maybe this is something you can discuss together going forward.

    Much love <3

Children