Published on 12, July, 2020
I wanted to reach out and ask... how have people found the world of dating? Or those who have had relationships or are in one, how did it actually happen for you?
My dating history hasn’t been great so far and especially with me being of an age where lots of my friends are getting married, buying houses together and having kids, it adds to my anxiety that my life is basically stuck at the start. I don’t live in a great location for social opportunities and realistically I’m going to have a partner 40 miles away but I am ok with that. Some friends have suggested to move away to widen my pool of people but I really don’t think I could cope with that since it would be a massive change and right now I need a lot of family support.
Obviously while the coronavirus is a thing physically meeting people is going to be tricky but me and my mum both agree that there’s no reason why me and a date couldn’t just sit in a park at a distance from each other and chat. It isn’t a complete blocker. But in the current climate I think dating sites are really the only way forward, though I am open to suggestions.
So far I’ve registered on two, which my mum has been great supporting me with as I lack confidence. Not sure if I’m allowed to mention them but I have serious doubts about them. One has so few people on it and the people I’ve been matched with don’t seem very active. The other seems more active generally but there are few people near me and there’s no way of telling when they were last on, and wouldn’t be surprised if they are not active themselves.
There seems to be so few quality sites set up for autistic people and I’m nervous about entering the mainstream ones. Or needn’t I be? I really want to be with someone who understands me and I think definitely that common ground of autism has to be a good thing?
I also wondered about the agency they use on The Undateables, but wonder how useful this would be in the current climate (really wish this virus would go away!!!). Any thoughts, anyone?
You work as someone who is 35 years old I find it very difficult to make friends to the point I have none...!!
and I am also a single bisexual that finds it hard to get into the later ships with anybody because I don't know how to engage or how to communicate with NT'S and my fellow autistics with most of my relationships with them can be on and off on and off with some indeed for the silliest and the most ridiculous of things...!!
I really think what we need is we need to see more autistics trying to push against the grain trying to be out and about and trying to socialise a good place to do this and to try meet with others autistics and to keep your eyes open and to try and meet other people when it goes back to normal after the the covid-19 outbreak is McDonald's and KFC at Jamaica Street in Glasgow city centre...!!
I tried a while back to start a social group where I advertised it on Facebook to invite people between 10:30 and 11:30 at night to meet socially within McDonald's on Jamaica Street Glasgow the reason doing this is it's in the evening and also gives good time for people to get the buses home safely from the city centre...!!
I also considered the evening to be a better time because I know a lot of people with autism can suffer from sleeping disorders like insomnia as well as other conditions I myself can relate to this with having severe insomnia and having dish cookies with sleep due to body pain throughout my body due to sensory issues and problems with sleep so I believed in the evening it would be good to meet for an hour and then allows people to get home safely and get to bed in the evening can be more atmospheric and I just don't like it being too bright during the day and it just seems more comfortable more welcoming send them indoors in the evening that is during the day and it was to bring people together to talk about their interest learn from each other and try to create a free non-profit ing non-managed but social group that brings all sorts of autistics on the spectrum together to socialise and make friends and support groups and networks that they can learn from and can help each other well making friends...!!
so when everything gets back to normal in the city centre of Glasgow keep your eyes open in McDonald's for people who are sitting about being sociable and just try and ask if you could join the table during the conversation see where it goes because there's a good philosophy every stranger is a possible friend all it takes is you to make the first steps to trigger the beginning of a friendship that could possibly be lifelong....!!
we need to be braver we need to have courage and we need to push ourselves because life isn't easy even for NT's so we need to try to be braver with her emotions and try to have courage and sometimes maybe we need to try and push and try to speak to people and try and start the first steps to beginning conversations socializing and starting the beginning of friendships...!!