Published on 12, July, 2020
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At the moment I’m dissecting everything about myself even though it’s bad for my mental health. But I don’t know how to stop doing that. Constantly analysing my own behaviour and thoughts.
Who I am? Who would I be without anxiety? Who would I be without this or that trait? How would I behave? Which part of me are changeable and which are not? Which parts makes “me” and should be embraced and which parts should be discarded?
I’m telling myself that I just want to live to my full potential, be a better person but maybe it’s just some low self esteem issue and deep down I just think of myself as worse and broken and that’s why I want to change myself?
Because instead of accepting myself, even the worse parts of me, I still want to find out what is “wrong” with me so I could blame this part of me for anything I feel is not “right” and despise it and try to discard it.
To become this happy perfect human being, loved and respected by everybody, brave and wise and pure. Ideal human being that can’t really exist.