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Awful awful day ending in tears

mouse2
over 3 years ago

I just cant figure people out. I really cant. I dont try I mess things up, i try and mess things up.

Started off someone feeling underappreciated on a project so i bought her a bottle of wine and messaged saying will leave it for her (social distancing) and said it's a thank you for all you do. Well this caused offence and i was told to keep it! I apologised saying I'm sorry I meant it as appreciation and no offence. I've never said anything about her I barely know her but I was organising the work

Then upset someone I've known for 5 minutes. I'd cancelled plans the other night explained I get anxious meeting new people etc. Then she explained she understood and if I ever want to talk shes there. Was really nice. Today I've not seen her at all but someone i thought was a friend, her husband who's meant to help with a medical issue knew that I was meant to be working today (never met him and decided not to use him  as I cant find his credentials) anyway he turns up and this new lady was there. He starts telling her about why I'd called him! ! Blatant data protection issue for a start. She said I'll stop you there and she messaged me saying he told me about your issue! (Nothing disturbing at all but I dont want to disclose for my identity) anyway the lady I hoped to be friends with said I need distance from you (meaning me) my potential new friend gone. I asked my husband to check my messages but nothing untoward. 

I ended up in tears as I try so bloody hard but mess up. Why cant I have 1 friend? I'm honest, caring, kind. I get hurt alot

Parents
  • over 3 years ago

    Hi mouse2 I feel you. I hate it when NTs say they 'need distance' from us like we're serial killers. I had someone say that about me via someone else (as you know the church shite) and whatever anyone says about letting it go &c, it's the cruellest thing one could do to someone else who is harmless and just trying to be friendly so I feel deeply for you. It's not your fault in any way. It's basically saying "you're not worth my time and energy because you're different and have more problems than I'm willing to accommodate" but disguised as self-care and 'being kind to oneself' which now more than ever is the NT euphemism for being selfish. It's not your fault in any way. You're a wonderful, helpful and compassionate person. You have a strong sense of right and wrong. You're honest and sincere. I know this from the empathy you have shown me. And if you do want a friend feel free to add me and we can talk more :-)

Reply
  • over 3 years ago

    Hi mouse2 I feel you. I hate it when NTs say they 'need distance' from us like we're serial killers. I had someone say that about me via someone else (as you know the church shite) and whatever anyone says about letting it go &c, it's the cruellest thing one could do to someone else who is harmless and just trying to be friendly so I feel deeply for you. It's not your fault in any way. It's basically saying "you're not worth my time and energy because you're different and have more problems than I'm willing to accommodate" but disguised as self-care and 'being kind to oneself' which now more than ever is the NT euphemism for being selfish. It's not your fault in any way. You're a wonderful, helpful and compassionate person. You have a strong sense of right and wrong. You're honest and sincere. I know this from the empathy you have shown me. And if you do want a friend feel free to add me and we can talk more :-)

Children