Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
A little bit worried about posting on here as I’ve not yet been diagnosed but have had a growing suspicion that I have adult autism, I’ll list some of my reasons down below and you can let me know if you think it would be worth approaching my GP or not. I am not overly keen on getting another label but if I am diagnosed with autism, it would be great to have an explanation to some of my behaviours that look to me, to be very similar to that of other autistic people.
Anyway my question to you is:
Do you ever become obsessed with people and does this effect your love life or how you veiw relationships? (If so, in what ways? And I'd also be curious to find out what things you do to manage those obsessive thoughts to prevent them from effecting your day-to-day?)
A bit of context:
I'm 27/F and have just gotten my first boyfriend. It seems to be a reoccurring trend with me to latch on to one particular person and obsess over them to the point it consumes my life. This happened twice before, both when I was in high-school and tbh without this obsession I don’t really feel much attraction to people beyond the platonic.
By ‘consumes my life’ I mean that I will not only spend most of the day staring into space thinking and worrying about a particular person, I’m also spending a lot of time researching and consuming media about love and relationships as well as worrying about my own relationship. It has been effecting my work, as I cannot find interest in doing much else with my time.
Usually I have put this down to just being a hopeless romantic and anxiety issues but since investigating, the possibility of having autism I’ve only just realised the two might be linked. Especially since I have demonstrated obsessive behaviour in the past; mostly regarding hobbies like science, TV shows and books. I’m worried that as an adult, people, love and sex are just a new obsession and not being sure if this is a mental health issue or a normal autistic behaviour which makes seeking help difficult.
Sorry if this post is misplaced, but would welcome any input on this issue.
A bit of background on me,
27/F I'm not yet diagnosed but have had a growing suspicion that I may have undiagnosed adult autism.
- Struggled with social anxiety and making friends most of my life, have always felt out of place.
- have experienced OCD, anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts
- Used to engaging in stem like behaviour when younger (10-14yrs old) in the form of biting my clothes when stressed , but stopped as it was socially unacceptiable- this transfered into less noticeable stems like counting and tapping my forehead which I may have confused with OCD.
- Aversion to certain stimulus such as the colour red, I don’t eat red food and avoid/ stay far away from red things as possible. Also, loud noises make me irritable and tend to avoid things I consider uncomfortable to look at. For example, not sitting in a chair with scuff marks on it, I was very particular about chairs in high school and became very upset if someone took my chair particular chair and would search the class room to find it again- this did not make me popular.
-I feel as though I was far more obsessive about things when I was a child than now but was obsessed with TV shows, could recite whole movies of by heart. Also loved science – but this was encouraged so never saw it as an issue and I’m now a physics graduate.
There are other small things but these have had the greatest effect on my life.
Hi. I'm not diagnosed yet either, but there's no need to worry about posting here - everyone's been very welcoming.
A lot of what you're saying is stuff that I've experienced myself, and there are a lot of things that could be autistic traits.
I also went through a phase of being obsessed with people. At first, it was usually celebrities or characters from film/TV, but there was a point when I became obsessed with a person (who had no interest in me). It was really difficult and it felt like this person was all I could think about, but it did fade over time and I don't feel that way anymore. I'm now in a very healthy, happy relationship, so it is possible to have positive relationships without the feeling of obsession - I think it's just a case of finding the right person.
I also have special interests and do a lot of stimming (but learnt to hide stims in public), and I suffer with OCD, anxiety and depression too.
I thought long and hard about whether to pursue a formal diagnosis. In the end, I decided that I wanted to take better care of myself and my mental health, so anything I could do to learn more about myself seemed like a positive step. My GP wasn't very helpful, so I self-referred to the local NHS mental health service (for my anxiety, depression and OCD) and discussed autism with the mental health nurse who assessed me. I explained how I felt my autism was linked to my mental health issues (e.g. I experience things like sensory overload more intensely when I'm stressed, and my natural aversion to change means I'm generally quite an anxious person). I also gave examples of why I thought I'm probably autistic. He helped me build a case and referred me that day, so I'm on the waiting list for an assessment.
I hope you're able to get the answers you're looking for.