Published on 12, July, 2020
As you know I have this awful virus. I've gotten over the worst. I've felt suicidal but not told anyone. I have put posts on facebook trying to reach out in my darkest times.
When I've fallen snd gone blue from breathing issues, been stuck home 2 weeks. When I'm the one always asking if people are okay. Yet no one asks are you okay
I put an apology on facebook for my sad posts and not being myself and explained how scarey it's been as I cant breath. But no ones contacted me etc. No ones said are you okay. I feel even more alone. People say it cant be the virus it's just flu. Yet the drs and ambulance said otherwise. They say your dramatic or it's a cold. Theres others I later found out around here who have it but it's not in the papers so i guess people dont believe. I feel really alone
So today I try be happier. I sent a joke video I was sent to someone who always sends jokes etc as kind of a 'hello I'm no longer feeling dark' but he posted on Facebook about how annoyed he is at messages. (1st one I've sent) I apologise and said I thought youd like it. He dicnt reply but replied to someone else how annoying it is and he will block people. So I just deleted him. I'm not going to feel grateful for his attention. This person also told me about a job where he worked a little while ago. I applied wasent successful. He told me to try again for same job less hours. I did and heard nothing back. Considering he has say in the hiring and theyve not even acknowledged my application etc I'm thinking why would you do that?
I dont understand why people post 'suicide awareness.im always here's rubbish when they really arent. Same with corona, they bang on about loneliness in isolation after a few days yet when someones in complete isolation a d been alone longer they literally dont care.
I'm feeling the nt people are selfish again today
I do so much for others, where are they when you need someone?
I think the peril of social media is that people are less engaged with one another. It’s one reason I don’t do social media... that and the fact I am a social disaster. Try not to take things too personally or get upset - there will be people who care, they might just not always show it. I hope things start looking up for you in the coming days. Stay strong :)
The thing I get confused about is that they post memes about caring and suicide awareness! I cant understand so my brain melts down. Thank you by the way I hope your safe. It's really a terrible thing to deal with
I can imagine it’s quite tough. The thing to remember is that people often post memes etc without thinking too mic and often with little sentimentality. Don’t rake their lack of engagement personally - often people are too preoccupied and others just don’t know what to do in a real life situation