Published on 12, July, 2020
As you know I have this awful virus. I've gotten over the worst. I've felt suicidal but not told anyone. I have put posts on facebook trying to reach out in my darkest times.
When I've fallen snd gone blue from breathing issues, been stuck home 2 weeks. When I'm the one always asking if people are okay. Yet no one asks are you okay
I put an apology on facebook for my sad posts and not being myself and explained how scarey it's been as I cant breath. But no ones contacted me etc. No ones said are you okay. I feel even more alone. People say it cant be the virus it's just flu. Yet the drs and ambulance said otherwise. They say your dramatic or it's a cold. Theres others I later found out around here who have it but it's not in the papers so i guess people dont believe. I feel really alone
So today I try be happier. I sent a joke video I was sent to someone who always sends jokes etc as kind of a 'hello I'm no longer feeling dark' but he posted on Facebook about how annoyed he is at messages. (1st one I've sent) I apologise and said I thought youd like it. He dicnt reply but replied to someone else how annoying it is and he will block people. So I just deleted him. I'm not going to feel grateful for his attention. This person also told me about a job where he worked a little while ago. I applied wasent successful. He told me to try again for same job less hours. I did and heard nothing back. Considering he has say in the hiring and theyve not even acknowledged my application etc I'm thinking why would you do that?
I dont understand why people post 'suicide awareness.im always here's rubbish when they really arent. Same with corona, they bang on about loneliness in isolation after a few days yet when someones in complete isolation a d been alone longer they literally dont care.
I'm feeling the nt people are selfish again today
I do so much for others, where are they when you need someone?
I'm really sorry to hear that you're not getting support from the people around you. Social media can also be a really weird place; lots of people say things they don't mean because it's the latest 'copy and paste' trend. I also think there are lots of people who make out like they're coping (e.g. posting pictures of their sparkling kitchen because they have so much time to clean now), but that probably doesn't reflect how they're feeling on the inside.
There are caring people out there (both NT and ND). Is there anyone in your life who you could have a video chat with? I did this with friends yesterday and it helped me feel a bit more normal. In the meantime, please talk to us here whenever you need to - we're all here to support each other.
Please keep going and take care of yourself.
Your right actually it's a copy and paste trend. I just dont understand why youd copy and paste if you dont mean it! It frustrates me so much! I try to understand neurotypicals and fit into their world but then retreat as I really dont understand them
mouse2 said:Your right actually it's a copy and paste trend. I just dont understand why youd copy and paste if you dont mean it! It frustrates me so much! I try to understand neurotypicals and fit into their world but then retreat as I really dont understand them
When NT’s get fully into wearing their theatrical cloak, mask and wig sort of thing (i.e., social camouflaging or masking) ~ it is worn as a suit of armour to protect their wounded selves that actually do care, but they are as such in most cases entirely trapped in their socially fostered and personally adopted character pretences. Hence they can identify with statements and write quite truly about caring for others, yet a proportion of whom really are particularly disabled when it comes to actually putting theirs’ or other people’s words into action.
I just treat it is all as being purely moral support, and if it turns out to involve practical support as well ~ then that makes it an additional bonus.
I don't understand it either - the world would be so much simpler if people just said what they meant!