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Called Lazy...

Moonmaiden
over 4 years ago

So, the father of my boyfriend told my boyfriend today that i'm useless and that my sleeping habits have nothing to do with autism but being lazy.  So much for getting a diagnoses and aiming for acceptance ;) Well, anyway. I'm so called lazy cause i don't work... i don't get up early, i'm currently in a bad habit of sleeping til 1pm in the afternoon. I have NO energy left in my entire body... i am behind the computer almost all day or behind my PS4 in the sofa... I enjoy being at home cause i can relax as i have to deal with a lot of worries and thoughts in my head. Sometimes, i just FEEL that i can't do anything. I have to even force myself to take a bath or to even make a payment. I'm in a severe auti- burn out... for years now. I don't take medication as i'm scared of the side effects. I am just scared of everything ... but i hate being called ''lazy''...  My partner also has autism but less severe as he takes medicine... He used to be pretty much like me too in the past but due the medication he can function. He even has a job now... but his parents kinda forced him and they ignore his autism for the most part. Today they had a fight cause he did not want to help his dad with a task and they all blame it on me. They think he will become lazy too. It's partly true, cause its a very toxic relationship (not us as people but our concerns, and our autism, that i wrote in another post on here) So i can understand his lack of energy too and that he refuses to help his parents on occasions when he is tired. But i really can't take it, that i have a diagnoses now and that people STILL call me lazy..... and talk about my shortcomings. NOTHING has changed since my diagnoses, nothing! :( 

Are there people on here with similar problems?

Moonmaiden

Parents
  • over 4 years ago

    As others have said, this is a delicate subject. I have been in similar circumstances earlier in my life. I will offer some advice from the heart... If it's not for you or I'm off beam please ignore.

    Start by putting the opinions of others to one side, no matter how hard. Even your boyfriend. This is about you. Focus on yourself and look inside yourself. Is there anything you could do, that you're not currently doing? Is there your own word you could use to describe how you are? 

    Now, what are your hopes and dreams, what would you like to achieve? What could you realistically do, if you went to bed at say 10.pm and wake up at 0800?  Could you imagine working a few hours a week?

    OK that might be depressing and make you feel crushed. But try to be strong. What would you do if you earned some money? Picture yourself with a part time job. Picture yourself collecting a pay packet at the end of the week. Does it feel good?. Routine in the life of an aspie can be really good for self esteem. 

    Is there any way you could move from where you are now to this dream scenario?   Forget your boyfriends father, because he is making you defensive and then you won't try to achieve your goal.  Make use of all support available. Stand tall and be yourself, that is what matters.  I hope you can use even 1% of this.  

Reply
  • over 4 years ago

    As others have said, this is a delicate subject. I have been in similar circumstances earlier in my life. I will offer some advice from the heart... If it's not for you or I'm off beam please ignore.

    Start by putting the opinions of others to one side, no matter how hard. Even your boyfriend. This is about you. Focus on yourself and look inside yourself. Is there anything you could do, that you're not currently doing? Is there your own word you could use to describe how you are? 

    Now, what are your hopes and dreams, what would you like to achieve? What could you realistically do, if you went to bed at say 10.pm and wake up at 0800?  Could you imagine working a few hours a week?

    OK that might be depressing and make you feel crushed. But try to be strong. What would you do if you earned some money? Picture yourself with a part time job. Picture yourself collecting a pay packet at the end of the week. Does it feel good?. Routine in the life of an aspie can be really good for self esteem. 

    Is there any way you could move from where you are now to this dream scenario?   Forget your boyfriends father, because he is making you defensive and then you won't try to achieve your goal.  Make use of all support available. Stand tall and be yourself, that is what matters.  I hope you can use even 1% of this.  

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