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Finding a relationship

NAS65581
over 4 years ago

Hello, 

Please can you anyone help me with what I am struggling the most, 

I have to find a relationship or taking next steps to finding love, however I have tried dating sites, I just got turned down and I present myself very well. I connect very well people and i have no trouble communicating with people, 

I don't know if im rushing things or how I'm seeking a relationship I'm not doing it right i don't know. I concert worry about ill be on my own for near future? 

Any advice? 

Thanks 

Parents
  • over 4 years ago

    Hi there!

    I found my fiance on a dating site(as stated by many below, this is just great because you can type and therefore think about your answers). We used a somewhat different site (a metalheads based site) this helped alot because we immeddiatly had a common interest so had something to start talking about. So maybe find a site that is for your interest.

    I was already diagnosed with Aspergers at the time but my fiance wasnt. I actualy pushed him to get tested because i suspected some form of autism with him. And well. He's totally autistic too.

    Also please be aware that you never ever HAVE to find a relationship. We are brought up with the idea that we have to mary and get babies. The babies idea is already slwoly dying but having a relationship says nothing about your quality of life or you as a person. So please dont start a relationship because you have to and only because you love and care about a person and want to be with them.

    Also know that with autism (even when the partner also has it) its always hard work to have a relationship. There will be moments that you just cant understand eachother (and partial mutism might make this worse). Usualy the best route for this is to both forgive eachother and just try to work together after a good cry together. We just need a cool down period before this can happen. I learned not to panic when my fiance walks out the door when we have an argument. I know he isnt leaving me. Just leaving the conversation to be able to calm down.

    Any questions you have are welcome!

Reply
  • over 4 years ago

    Hi there!

    I found my fiance on a dating site(as stated by many below, this is just great because you can type and therefore think about your answers). We used a somewhat different site (a metalheads based site) this helped alot because we immeddiatly had a common interest so had something to start talking about. So maybe find a site that is for your interest.

    I was already diagnosed with Aspergers at the time but my fiance wasnt. I actualy pushed him to get tested because i suspected some form of autism with him. And well. He's totally autistic too.

    Also please be aware that you never ever HAVE to find a relationship. We are brought up with the idea that we have to mary and get babies. The babies idea is already slwoly dying but having a relationship says nothing about your quality of life or you as a person. So please dont start a relationship because you have to and only because you love and care about a person and want to be with them.

    Also know that with autism (even when the partner also has it) its always hard work to have a relationship. There will be moments that you just cant understand eachother (and partial mutism might make this worse). Usualy the best route for this is to both forgive eachother and just try to work together after a good cry together. We just need a cool down period before this can happen. I learned not to panic when my fiance walks out the door when we have an argument. I know he isnt leaving me. Just leaving the conversation to be able to calm down.

    Any questions you have are welcome!

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