Published on 12, July, 2020
I managed to get through school, and university. My social skills are okay, and when I've been in workplaces for work experience etc, I have done pretty well. But can I get through the interviews process? i think there is an inbuilt discrimination against people like me at the interview stage since I make bad eye contact, and find them hellish. I'm now in my forties, and none of the jobs I have ever done have ever had reasonable pay or required an interview. My CV is woeful even though my intelligence level is clearly above average. (Not genius level, granted!) I do have some issues, but can function at a high level, yet no one wants me.
What do I do? Even when I've done careers courses, I struggle, and get panic attacks. Yet, I know I can do certain types of work because I have already. Working is not too bad for me. Looking for work has made me feel suicidal. I am lucky I have some level of other support, but this is not enough to pay a lot of my bills and my gas has been cut off.
The really annoying thing is that I got offered a dream job at a bookshop, and turned it down because I was going out of the country for a few months. I have been kicking myself ever since.
Half the time some stranger speaks to me, they ask me what I do for a living. I'm not into the whole peeing contest aspect of that, but I would like to be able answer something other than telling them undiagnosed ASD has stopped me from ever getting a proper job.
Hi, could you pop into the bookshop again. Or write them a letter saying that you are still interested? Also dont let strangers have a negative affect on you. They are no better then you. Most people are struggling with somw aspect of their life, they just hide it well! My daughter is 17. We went to an imformal meeting together about a little job delivering leaflets. She has little speech. She had to go back the next day. She made herself a packed lunch and was eager to go. She had a panic attack as she got to the door and couldnt go in. I went home in my break from work and she was in tears. i think the panic attacks have got worse as she came out of school/ college and spends lots of time on her own. Good luck with your job search
Sadly the bookshop shut down years ago and is now a café. I wish I had taken that job, as it would have been on my CV. Instead, I have ended up doing jobs for a few weeks delivering phone directories etc, and Christmas at the sorting office.
I could really just do with an ordinary job for my own self-respect, nothing fancy (nor horrible), but just so I feel less useless.
My problem is I just can't get past the gate keepers. I know I am more capable than some of the people out there, but I have never passed a single job interview.