Published on 12, July, 2020
I haven't been to a gym in ages. After Christmas, I decided that I really needed to lose a few kilos and get fitter. So I joined my local David Lloyd club and I have so far been going three times a week for the past three weeks. I was very nervous at first. The people, the noise, the light, the temperature all make me anxious. I have now learnt to try and zone out with my noise-cancelling earbuds and it seems to be working. I hope to commit to going three times a week at least because the membership is expensive.
I've been going to the gym regularly for 13 years but I'm having to cancel my gym membership unfortunately. I just can't justify the price any more, when my energy bills have tripled. I'm planning to go for more walks instead. I know I'll lose muscle mass but since January my personal circumstances and burnout mean I haven't been going enough anyway, so I can't justify the cost.
The gym used to be a refuge for me where I could switch off my brain, and I liked the physical feeling of lifting weights and the sore muscles afterwards and the runner's high. But lately it felt like a chore to go, and when I did go, I was getting too overwhelmed by people being too noisy and wearing too much perfume, and they renovated the gym and now the lights are too bright... seems silly, but I just don't like going any more.
And that's on top of various personal problems: illness in January, stress and burnout from work, depression, and my noisy neighbour problem becoming worse, which means I'm sleep-deprived most of the time and turning to drink to cope.
If I can finally manage to move house (which seems to be the most difficult thing I've ever attempted), I might buy some weights and a bench and a squat rack for the garage.