Published on 12, July, 2020
I am going through alot of stress trying to find us a new house and me a new job and my partner who has autism is driving me nuts. Before you all go mad lol I need to learn to be more Patient but it seems I am thinking for my partner and making every single decision in our relationship. They seem to mimic everything I do and i can't take the responsibility. My partner has lived on their own for years before me albeit a shell of themselves. To use their words. How do I know if I am being too impatient or if they have just become overly dependent on me? How much is the autism? They have a full time job and very independent with certain things so they are not in need of a professional carer. I love them so much and can't bear this feeling. We have spoken about this to no avail.
Tinyexplorer said:Maybe your partner decided that being seen to support your every move is their best way to support you?
I suspect this is the case... your OH is probably not coping well but realises they 'should' be supporting you and is 'faking' this as best they can...
I say 'faking' deliberately as it sounds like they are mimicking behaviour they believe is how NTs 'show support'...
Best bet is probably to be clear about what you need from them, maybe give a clear area of responsibility that they can take on so you don't have to?
What is NT?
I have tried giving them responsibility and step away but nothing gets done. I hadlve to step in as they kept getting fobbed off or things get worse. I have asked them to write to me to tell me their feelings but they won't. But says it's a good idea. I am literally doing everything and when I don't nothing happens.