Impatient with autistic partner

I am going through alot of stress trying to find us a new house and me a new job and my partner who has autism is driving me nuts. Before you all go mad lol I need to learn to be more Patient but it seems I am thinking for my partner and making every single decision in our relationship. They seem to mimic everything I do and i can't take the responsibility. My partner has lived on their own for years before me albeit a shell of themselves. To use their words. How do I know if I am being too impatient or if they have just become overly dependent on me? How much is the autism? They have a full time job and very independent with certain things so they are not in need of a professional carer. I love them so much and can't bear this feeling. We have spoken about this to no avail.