• Replies 12 replies
  • Subscribers 83 subscribers
  • Views 4279 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Impatient with autistic partner

NAS64560

I am going through alot of stress trying to find us a new house and me a new job and my partner who has autism is driving me nuts. Before you all go mad lol I need to learn to be more Patient but it seems I am thinking for my partner and making every single decision in our relationship. They seem to mimic everything I do and i can't take the responsibility. My partner has lived on their own for years before me albeit a shell of themselves. To use their words. How do I know if I am being too impatient or if they have just become overly dependent on me? How much is the autism? They have a full time job and very independent with certain things so they are not in need of a professional carer. I love them so much and can't bear this feeling. We have spoken about this to no avail. 

Parents

  • It must be very anxiety provoking to have to move to a new house and deal with change of jobs. You partner might find this difficult to cope with. Did he buy in the house move, like really.? Do you communicate enough? 

    Maybe your partner decided that being seen to support your every move is their best way to support you?

  • in reply to Tinyexplorer

    I have been pushed from pillar to post my whole life so am used to it. We have no choice with the move. The Mimicking is literal from finishing my senetances to getting up when I do (which are new things)

    And no we don't communicate enough I keep asking them to open up but they simply won't do it

  • in reply to NAS64560

    Moving houses is not something easy to get used to. Your partner clearly realises the inevitable and is trying to support your moves to show support and cope. This doesn't mean he really accepted it and actually copes. Maybe this is what you are seeing, him not coping. You indeed need to talk. but from a point of being calm and emotionally connected, not from a point of distress masked by the appearance of activity.. Try to do something really relaxing for both of you, when you can forget all worries and open up. Did you share your distress at the situation or do you do 'keep calm and carry on' thing? Maybe your partner thinks you are coping with distress so wonderfully that the only thing he is allowed is to 'toughen up' and support you?

  • in reply to NAS64560

    Also (although this will be something else added on top of a schedule) maybe couples therapy could help. 

Reply Children
No Data