Published on 12, July, 2020
I walked 10 miles today until my legs and feet felt they would give way, that's the only way I could stop myself from screaming in despair.
While out walking I gesticulated wildly with my arms and hands and a few people laughed at me.
No surprises there. There isn't much compassion or intelligence in this world.
I saw Mark Lawrenson the football pundit chatting to his family then getting in his car and driving off, while on my walk.
Tried to talk to a few people but predictably NTs being NTs, they didn't want to as I was a stranger and I didn't follow the oh-so-stupid rules of small talk that are unbearable to me.
Now maybe this time will pass, in this moment this all seems so important, it's hard to believe I will ever find what I'm looking for, when at this juncture I feel this low.
Long walks are good. At least yesterday was a nice sunny autumn day.
I find people react differently towards me in different environments.
On city streets, strangers do not say hello or greet each other. It's seen as weird. But on walks in the woods and countryside it's seen as normal and the polite thing to say.
Where did you take your 10 mile walk?
Some of it was in a city I got a train to, some of it was on the beach and around the streets of my town.
Sometimes people in my town might be willing to talk, it's rare to find anyone I feel I can approach though, they have to look very trustworthy, in other towns I lived in approaching the wrong person can lead to awkwardness further down the line.