Trust

Apologies for the random, much later message - but searching for catastrophising brought me to this message, and the info is very helpful.

Not very well - I get very anxious if I'm accused of dishonesty, or even imagine that someone *might* accuse me of it (especially if it's unfounded or there is good reason), or if I convince myself that I might have been dishonest. Maybe because of that, I've always tried to be honest.

I have always considered myself to be scrupulously honest, and probably because of this and possibly subconsciously,  I've expected everyone else to be the same because I've always trusted people implicitly despite what others might tell me about them (I want to give them a chance first). I've always had a rule that I will act according to what a person does when interacting with *me*, not according to what others say (that way lies confusion, complexity and mistakes). 

Bookworm is absolutely great, away from the stress of feeling stalked on here.

Yes -mam Aidie, i say to you, that way cause I like you.  i will keep going on forword. have a great night Aidie, from Jake.

Jake, bookworm has left, for a while. I have been told she will be back in couple of weeks. but keep going :)

hey Bookworm.  How are you today ?

sorry sorry sorry 

I was liking you until you mentioned blondie.... Now? Talk about stick the boot in....

i am starting to like u :)

yep sometimes do this, hands up.... but not in this instance....

It sounds like a horrible situation. It'll take time, but you'll get through it. Take good care of yourself and focus on the people who care.

I do and thank you, It just hurts when someone who should trust you doesn't and now nor me them except I have far more reason not to trust them as they lied to somebody I trust with my life and thats on top of insulting me...

I find it hard to trust a lot of people because it's hard to tell whether they're being honest. It's really hurtful when you know you're an honest person and someone suggests otherwise. In terms of dealing with it, it's tough... but as long as you know you're a good person with the right intentions, that's what matters.

ok just checkin' you are thinking straight and not "grasshopper" thinking yourself to the wrong conclusions. Be nice to yourself in next few days / read up on self compassion. Autistic  people sometimes forget to be nice to themselves, to love themselves and to stop the inner negative critic. 

https://network.autism.org.uk/knowledge/insight-opinion/autism-and-catastrophising

be good Bookie

This is true we do I do all the time but I really don't think this was a mistake, this person has said a couple of horrid things to me in the past but I informed them yesterday of a comment which had upset me and they had a stab in relation to this less than an hour after I said I was upset..

That isn't a mistake, that was intent to hurt, push me away whatever but there was intent...

Humans make mistakes all the time. you , me,  everyone.

Hi plastic, this wasn't said in an argument, it was said purely with the intent of causing me pain and it related to something else I had already explained I was hurt by it just felt like he wanted to stick the boot in to really drive the message away,

Like you said,

I get the feeling he says all these nasty things to drive me away and its working, I am finding that when this happens, its the third time in as many months, I will retaliate and say nasty things back in a temper and I don't like the person I feel I am becoming,

Plastic said:

and the more you know someone, the more you know how to hurt them.

So true he knows exactly how to push my buttons, its just plain cruel, that's not love, I don't know what it is but its not love...

Thanks Graham good to see you back..

I wouldn't take it too personally - especially as we all know people say bad things when strong emotions are involved.    They say things to hurt others to protect their own feelings - and the more you know someone, the more you know how to hurt them.

Affairs of the heart have an eloquence that defies logic. Tomorrow is always unknown territory.

Risk by Anaïs Nin

And then the day came,

when the risk

to remain tight

in a bud

was more painful

than the risk

it took

to Blossom.