Published on 12, July, 2020
Since leaving home I've noticed how much my dad is awkward in social situations, dosnt like to go out and hates when my mum leaves him and as long as I can remember will not use a phone.
He never really sumpathises if someone else is upset or how someone else feels. He has pushed all my mums friends away and dosnt overly enjoy having to come and visit me.
I cant remember as a kid him giving me hugs or kissing me. Recently he stayed over at the weekend with my mum to look after my 2 kids and within a week of them going home they then argued for a month. This is not unusual however this time I predicted it happening as he hates change but I dont understand why he then leaves it a few days and creates an argument due to this.
Does this sound like autism?
Hi. It's difficult to know whether your dad's autistic, as it's such a broad spectrum and the symptoms overlap with lots of other conditions. For example, your dad's worries about using the phone, social awkwardness and aversion to change could be down to autism, but they could also be linked to conditions like anxiety (it's also possible to have autism alongside conditions like anxiety). The National Autistic Society website has lots of information on autism and what it could look like for adults, so it might be worth doing some further reading to see if the traits sound recognisable.
If you think you'd feel confident enough to speak to him about it, you could try meeting with him (somewhere he's comfortable - maybe at his home?) and asking whether he's ever thought that he might be autistic. That said, I don't know how your dad would react, so just be aware that he might get a little defensive if it's something he hasn't considered/doesn't recognise in himself.
Whether he's autistic or not, you're clearly making an effort to understand your dad, which is really positive and shows you care about him. Even if you don't broach the topic of autism with him, you could always try using different methods of communication/making more predictable plans to see if this helps you to get more quality time together (e.g. meeting somewhere quiet where he's less likely to feel socially awkward or stressed).